• Viral badge

A Nanny Shared The Shocking Texts She's Received From Parents, And Millions Of People On TikTok Are In Disbelief

Imagine being asked to babysit full-time, overnight, for less than a dollar an hour.

Sophia Pagliuca is a South Carolina-based nanny who has been in the industry over seven years.

Smiling person in a blue top, white belted trousers, and an open-knit cardigan

So, as you can imagine, she's learned a lot (and encountered many different parents — aka employers) over the years. She currently shares nannying tips to her 28,000 followers on TikTok:


Replying to @Francesca Luca Part one!!! How to text parents who youre going to babysit or nanny for!! #nannytok #babysittingtok #babysittingadvice #nannyadvice #nannyvlog #nannysalary #nannylife #nannytiktok #fypシ

♬ original sound - SOPHIA | NANNY LIFESTYLE 💌

However, what recently caught the attention of over 3 million people on the platform was when Sophia shared the shockingly rude and disrespectful texts she has received during her career. Let's take a look now:

Text message asking about rates for help with 4 kids and mentioning previous people had trouble, reflecting on reasons why

Here's one where the parent is upfront about their budget but not about how many hours Sophia would actually be working:

Summarized text: A message discussing payment for a nanny, mentioning FB post, rates, need for nanny M-F, and concerns about guaranteed hours and transparency

These parents are one of many who openly like to do business "under the table":

Text messages discussing reduced health benefits, skepticism about future PTO, and a boss's joke about legal or professional boundaries

Here's an eye-blinker. These parents wanted food to be Sophia's pay:

Text message conversation discussing whether to stay out later and mentioning DoorDash payment for extra hours; ending with emoji reactions

And these parents don't understand that gas costs money:

Text message exchange showing confusion over driving cost, with a response expressing disbelief at the confusion

This parent wanted to pay less than a dollar an hour because they claimed Sophia would "not even be working" while the kids slept:

Text exchange about seeking an overnight babysitter for $30, with a suggestion to charge $150 instead for convenience

These parents who tried to get away with paying about half of what was owed:

Summarized text: A client who tried to underpay for overnight fees is confronted, leading to the correct payment of $875 after some discussion

This parent who doesn't understand that, while they can sympathize, nannies have to pay bills the same as everyone else:

Text message conversation expressing frustration over unfair pay and lack of benefits at a weekend job

This parent who based their nanny rate off of how much they made each day at work:

Text messages on a phone screen discussing babysitting rates with a reply expressing surprise

These parents who thought that trying to be polite would negate the fact that they were attempting to take advantage of her rates:

Text from a nanny job posting detailing extensive experience required, household tasks, and offers below-market compensation

Here's another overnight job where the parent doesn't think that the overnight safety of their child warrants even minimum wage:

Text from a social media post discussing babysitting rates and the value of childcare work

And this parent who matter-of-factly stated they would pay her $8 less per hour than what she charges (but her kids were calm and she would get free pizza!):

Summarized text from a mobile message exchange discussing babysitting rates and experiences with various sitters

People who had nannied before flocked to the comments to share their thoughts, including some who have quit the profession because of parents like the ones in these texts:

Sophie's social media post about preferring pet sitting over nannying due to better appreciation and rates, with likes

There were others who didn't understand how Sophia set her rates, however:

Instagram comment stating that having a nanny is a luxury and the payment is normal, with 53.4K likes

Many factors influence nanny rates. The Morningside Nannies has a great post explaining how things like education, experience, the current market, and wage laws come into play when nannies set their rates.

A social media post expressing frustration about others’ expectations of their nanny duties

BuzzFeed spoke to Sophia who said she got her start babysitting on the side while simultaneously working in a breakfast cafe. "One day, a random family I had babysat for once came into my cafe, and I ended up serving them. By the end of the meal, I had my first nannying job — very unconventional, but it was such a fun way to jumpstart my entrance into the industry! I quit my job at the cafe and have been nannying ever since," she said.

Closeup of Sophia Pagliuca

Sophia told us there are many more "pros" than "cons" in the nannying world, however, she acknowledged that even one con can make or break a job. "The worst, most frustrating thing is lack of respect. This is a career. Nannies are the backbone of many people's lives! Too many parents believe that nannying is a side gig for young women to make some 'quick cash.' The best nannying positions are ones where the parents realize the invaluable contribution that a nanny brings. I do want to add that it's not just parents who bring this mindset — I have had many acquaintances ask me when I'll be quitting nannying to get a 'real job.'"

Adult and child playing with dinosaur toys on a sofa

Having to continuously advocate for fair pay and wages and deal with entitled parents is another unfortunate realty of the job. "I wish more people (including parents) realized that it's not easy — each day can be starkly different from the last. I've had an abundance of people remark about how they wish they could nanny because it's so 'easy!' Nannying can not only be physically exhausting but mentally exhausting. Caring for the physical, mental, and emotional health of children, often several at a time, is not for the weak!"

Instagram post expressing willingness to pay more for good nanny services, with likes shown

"The prevalence of disrespect combined with being overworked, underpaid, and underappreciated is felt by all nannies. Every professional in this industry has experienced those texts in their real lives at some point," said Sophia, explaining why she thinks her text video went so viral.

Two comments on a social media post, one from a user named Elizabeth reacting to the original post, and a response from the creator SOPHIA | NANNY LIFESTYLE

In addition, nannies like Sophia find themselves constantly explaining how they are different than babysitters. Nannies dedicate extensive one-on-one time with kids, forming bonds with the children and providing them with individualized needs. "In a daycare setting, there may be a classroom of 10+ children fighting for a daycare worker's attention," she added.

Woman and child happily engaging over a book in a kitchen setting

Nevertheless, Sophia says nannying is her biggest blessing, and she has had so much fun in the profession. "I truly believe a nanny's job of nurturing, guiding, and teaching children is one of the most important careers because children are the future. When parents find that amazing person to assist them in raising their children, the most important thing they can do is appreciate their hard work!"

Closeup of Sophia Pagliuca

You can follow Sophia on Instagram and TikTok.