1.
Unapologetically pass gas in public.
2.
Pee a little after sneezing, coughing, or laughing.
3.
Eat a whole tub of ice cream straight from the carton.
4.
Use pregnancy as an excuse to get out of something.
5.
And use pregnancy as an excuse for not having the best personal hygiene, like greasy hair.
6.
Order more food than necessary because "the baby is hungry."
7.
Don't button or zip up their jeans.
8.
Squeeze their nipples to see if breast milk squirts out.
9.
Google graphic videos or pictures of childbirth.
10.
Sit on the toilet for hours trying to squeeze out a single turd.
11.
Plan to have sex multiple times a day, every day, if they are past due.
12.
Talk to their baby bump as if it's a full-grown adult.
13.
Sweep something under a table because it's too hard to pick up.
14.
Stare a little too long at the weird discharge that came out of them.
15.
Exaggerate the "pregnancy waddle" to look more legit.
16.
And skip out on something because they can't squeeze their swollen feet into any of their shoes.
Pregnancy. The more you know.
