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I Went From "What?" To "That Makes Sense" After Learning How Long Sex Lasts For Straight People On Average

"After 15 minutes, I'm making my grocery list..."

A woman named Recie recently went viral on TikTok after asking people how long they think sex should last:

@recied

😂😂😂 Who out here having hour episodes of sex⁉️ #fypage #fyp #viral #foryou #recied #sexyzone #girltalk #relationship #stitch #jokes

♬ WAP(feat. Megan Thee Stallion) - Cardi B

In her video — which has over 4 million views — Recie hilariously explains how she was shocked when some young girls said sex should last an hour. She says, "15–20 minutes, tops. After that, get the fuck off me, sir! Why are we doin' this? I have stuff to do! I have movies to watch, I have kids to take care of. An hour of sex?!"

@recied/video / tiktok.com

BuzzFeed spoke to Recie, who said she posted the video after she and some of the younger girls at her work got into a debate about how long sex should last. "The conversation got so heated, I needed more feedback from people my age. I knew I couldn’t be the only person who thought an hour was too long! So I posted the question across my social media pages," she said.

People soon started flooding the comments to share their opinions on intercourse intervals:

I would be offended if it took a man a whole ass hour lmaooo [crying laughing emoji] 30 mins tops
@recied/video / tiktok.com

A large majority agreed with Recie that about 15 minutes was sufficient.

after 15 mins I'm making grocery lists [3 crying laughing emojis]
@recied/video / tiktok.com

But parents said they have shorter sex for obvious reasons:

@recied/video / tiktok.com

Age definitely seemed to play a factor:

A hour!! I'm 42. It would take me 2 weeks to recover from that mess. 15 min, 4 play included
@recied/video / tiktok.com

As do certain occasions:

30-45 for special occasions, 5-20 minutes for regular sessions lol
@recied/video / tiktok.com

Being with one partner for a long period of time seems to speed up the process for some:

After 27 years of marriage.....2 minutes!! We mastered it!!
@recied/video / tiktok.com

That being said, there are also a lot of people who enjoy lengthier sex:

About 4 hours for me, so serious need all that [crying laughing emoji]
@recied/video / tiktok.com

It's clear there can be different opinions in a relationship:

@recied/video / tiktok.com

But some will tell you that one hour should be the minimum amount of time for good sex!!!

i'm a lesbian soooo usually around 1-3 hours. i'm sorry straight ppl, y'all have it rough
@recied/video / tiktok.com

Anyway, Dr. Ali Rodriguez — an Arizona-based OBGYN — came across Recie's TikTok, and the question intrigued her as a medical professional, so she decided to do some research.

She shared her findings in another TikTok that now has nearly 13 million views:

@alirodmd

#stitch with @recied have you all seen the full original video because 💀😹 #learnontiktok #tiktokpartner #medicine #questions

♬ WAP(feat. Megan Thee Stallion) - Cardi B

BuzzFeed also spoke to Dr. Rodriguez, who said there’s been several studies on this topic — and most of them are surveys from heterosexual men and woman. "In a study done in 2005 (which looked at penile-vaginal intercourse), 500 couples were asked to press a stopwatch from penetration until ejaculation, and the results led to an average time of 5.4 minutes. Another study, where sex therapists were asked how long penetrative, vaginal sex should last, most agreed that the 'adequate' or 'desirable' length was 7–13 minutes — and that 10–30 minutes was too long! Finally, a study done in 2020 asked heterosexual women how long it took them to orgasm, and they found the average time was 13.4 minutes."

NOTE: It's also important to keep in mind that every person and every couple defines sex differently. For example, when thinking of how long sex lasts, some may include foreplay and some may consider it to be when both parties climax.

In the comments, it was also evident that same-sex couples had longer sex. "Several studies have found that lesbians and gay men report having longer sexual encounters. A study conducted in 2013 found that women who had sex with women had sexual encounters that lasted an average of 57 minutes! Lesbians and gay men report using oral sex and foreplay more frequently than heterosexual couples. Longer time with foreplay allows women to get fully aroused, which ultimately increases the likelihood of reaching their climax. Knowing the sexual response cycle (arousal, plateau, climax, and resolution), we know that women naturally take longer to become fully aroused, which is why most women can’t orgasm from penetration alone," Dr. Rodriguez explained.

Fabio Formaggio / Getty Images

It's important to remember that age plays a factor in sex. "As men age, we know that it may take longer to get an erection or longer to maintain. And, just the opposite, young men might ejaculate sooner. When women enter menopause and estrogen levels decline, they begin to experience thin and dry vaginal tissue. Luckily, there’s treatments for both men and women! Always bring up your sex life and sexual concerns with your doctor or advanced practice provider!"

Carol Yepes / Getty Images

In addition to age, there are multiple other things that can affect the length of sex, like location, sexual orientation, overall health, different practices, etc. "If sex is lasting longer (or shorter) than you would like — tell your partner! Communicating your preferences is ultimately going to make you and your partner's sexual experience better." Dr. Rodriguez added.

Overall, Dr. Rodriguez said there's no “healthy” or “recommended” length of time for sex. "It’s going to be different for every couple, especially because everyone has a slightly different definition of sex. As long as couples are being safe and the sex is consensual, listen to your partner and find the perfect time for you!"

Beatriz Vera / Getty Images

TLDR; If you came here solely just to know how long sex should be lasting for you and your partner, go with this:

one person commented "it should last till both parties have been served [two smiling emojis]
@recied/video / tiktok.com

*parties

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