1.
(I am 6 months pregnant) Me after ordering my coffee: Stranger at Starbucks: you know you should be drinking decaf when you’re pregnant. Me: I’m... not pregnant. Stranger: (horrified) I am so, so sorry! And that’s what you get for giving unsolicited advice.
4.
When I was 18 I thought it would be cute to get a butterfly tattoo on my lower hip but after 6 c-sections it looks like a sad moth in a top hat.
6.
Apparently new moms are supposed to “sleep when the baby sleeps,” but I have yet to find anyone who has mastered the art of sleeping while driving or pushing a stroller.
8.
My 8-year-old son told me my veins on the back of my legs are looking better, thus showing me he really knows how to compliment a woman.
13.
Looking to update my kitchen decor, but I can’t decide between a country chic curtain for above the sink or a giant banner that says RINSE YOUR DAMN PLATE
Cheers to getting through another week, mommas!
