18 Times Moms Tweeted Things That Could Be Comedy Sketch Gold

    Bottom's up, mommas!

    Krista Torres
    by Krista Torres

    BuzzFeed Staff

    1. This mom who knows how to handle people who need to mind their own business:

    Jax ⚡️ @Diamond_Jax

    (I am 6 months pregnant) Me after ordering my coffee: Stranger at Starbucks: you know you should be drinking decaf when you’re pregnant. Me: I’m... not pregnant. Stranger: (horrified) I am so, so sorry! And that’s what you get for giving unsolicited advice.

    Reply Retweet Favorite

    2. This mom who taught her kids to always be smart before they take on any risky behaviors:

    My 11yo just screamed across the skatepark “MOM! DID YOU EVER GET OUR HEALTH INSURANCE REINSTATED? I WANNA DO A TRICK!”

    — JennyPentland, GED (@JennyPentland) June 20, 2021
    Twitter: @JennyPentland

    3. This mom who has a handy little trick for deciding if she wants a certain hairstyle or not:

    I couldn’t decide if I wanted bangs or not so I cut bangs for my daughter and she looks awful. Dodged a bullet there.

    — Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) January 14, 2021
    Twitter: @momjeansplease

    4. This mom who lives in the moment, allowing her kids freedom of expression:

    My 6yo is chanting all the words that rhyme with sucker and this is going to end badly in about 3 seconds

    — meghan (@deloisivete) February 29, 2024
    Twitter: @deloisivete

    5. And this mom who does the same, except she knows when to really interject:

    Me: “Come here” is spelled C-O-M-E not C-U-M

    My kid: Does it really matter how I spell it?

    Me: Yes!

    — Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) February 27, 2024
    Twitter: @reallifemommy3

    6. This mom who walks through life giving nods to the people who interact with her kids:

    Hats off to the waiter that kept a straight face as my 5yo ordered the vagina for lunch instead of the lasagna.

    — Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) June 22, 2021
    Twitter: @pro_worrier_

    7. This mom who is probably about to write a book titled "Quotes from My 4-Year-Old":

    *Kidzbop song plays*

    my 4yo: they were 𝙨𝙪𝙥𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙙 to say "fuck"

    — Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) October 6, 2021
    Twitter: @LizerReal

    8. And this mom who could also write the same kind of book:

    “Do you think in heaven you can pee anywhere you want?” My daughter, asking the big questions

    — Katie D (@KatieDeal99) February 26, 2024
    Twitter: @KatieDeal99

    9. This mom who, bless her soul, is the best parent ever:

    been searching for my 4 year old’s dog who is lost somewhere in this house. her… imaginary dog. we still haven’t found him. she’s crying. pic.twitter.com/Y09wJ7LIQT

    — g e e. (@geesweetyeeks) October 17, 2021
    Twitter: @geesweetyeeks

    10. This mom who knows true frustration:

    I would like to officially apologize to my toddler for cutting her left pancake before I cut her right pancake, I don’t know what I was thinking

    — Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) November 24, 2021
    Twitter: @reallifemommy3

    11. This mom who needs to host a class on how to get your kids to respect you:

    My 5yo asked if she could have a brownie and I started to say no cause it was too close to dinner and she said, “please your highness”. So I asked her where that came from and she said matter of factly, “cause you’re my Queen.” So anyway, she’s now having brownies for dinner.

    — Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) October 18, 2021
    Twitter: @SnarkyMommy78

    12. This mom who is just hilariously right:

    great now my kids think they come from billboards in the woods pic.twitter.com/cCpe4ygLl1

    — That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) May 3, 2021
    Twitter: @mom_tho

    13. This mom who is down to create this fantasy scheme for her kid:

    My kid lost a tooth and plans to put it under her pillow tonight so the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy can meet and hopefully make a love connection and I am HERE FOR IT

    — SpacedMom (@copymama) April 3, 2021
    Twitter: @copymama

    14. This mom who is hanging on by a thread:

    Lurkin' Mom @LurkAtHomeMom

    Looking to update my kitchen decor, but I can’t decide between a country chic curtain for above the sink or a giant banner that says RINSE YOUR DAMN PLATE

    Reply Retweet Favorite

    15. This mom who is raising a kid who stands up for themselves:

    I asked my 6yo “aren’t you gonna help me plant flowers” and she said “oh mommy I would love to do that except that I don’t want to”

    — Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) April 5, 2021
    Twitter: @LizerReal

    16. This mom who knows nothing kids say is surprising:

    *Middle of dinner*

    My kid: Can I have a snack?

    — Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) April 5, 2021
    Twitter: @reallifemommy3

    17. This mom who took one for the team so now moms everywhere know not to get butterfly tattoos on their lower hips:

    Shasta @shastamaria

    When I was 18 I thought it would be cute to get a butterfly tattoo on my lower hip but after 6 c-sections it looks like a sad moth in a top hat.

    Reply Retweet Favorite

    18. And finally, this mom who knew it was her duty to continue the cycle of always turning to her mom — no matter what age she is.

    The 8yo disrupted my sleep again, so I texted my mom at 2AM to ask when it stops.

    — Laura Marie (@lmegordon) January 2, 2021
    Twitter: @lmegordon