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Women Are Playing "Never Have I Ever" Using Female Realities And It's A Terrifying Truth

"Put a finger down if you did something with a man that you didn't want to do because you were scared to say no..."

Krista Torres
by Krista Torres

BuzzFeed Staff

Sarah Biggers-Stewart is an Atlanta-based woman who has dedicated her social media channels to sharing her experiences as a woman. "My content is all about life as a woman, and an unfortunate reality is that many of us have dealt with sexual and safety-related trauma," she told BuzzFeed.

And she made a female reality version of the game "Never Have I Ever" on TikTok in early May to spread awareness and help other women who've been through similar experiences feel less alone:

@thebiggersthebetter

This is crazy 😳 DUET THIS AND SHARE, I want to follow along ✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾 #feminism #girltalk #realtalk #alwayslearning #fyp

♬ original sound - thebiggersthebetter

Here are the "put a finger down" experiences she outlines in her video:

– Put a finger down if you've been drugged.

– Put a finger down if your friends have been drugged.

– Put a finger down if you've been followed.

– Put a finger down if you walk to your car with your keys or pepper spray as a weapon.

– Put a finger down if you check your backseat and lock your doors the second you get inside your car.

– Put a finger down if you've been sexually touched inappropriately.

– Put a finger down if you did something with a man that you didn't want to do because you were scared to say no for your own safety.

– Put a finger down if you've experienced something really scary or even illegal and you were scared to report it because you didn't think anybody would listen.

– Put a finger down if when you hear or see a man running behind you, you freak out.

– Put a finger down if something bad happened to you and the men who were around that you thought would protect you didn't.

But what Sarah was not prepared for was just how many women had experienced all of the same circumstances she has. Like this woman named Amber Mosley:

"I posted it and immediately a few duets popped up. I figured it would end there. But the next day I saw it had been duetted over a thousand times and I was shocked," she said. Now, nearly 10,000 women — like Cheyenne Gallegos below — have used Sarah's audio to share their same experiences as a female.

"I was happy to provide other women with an outlet to share their experiences because that in and of itself can be therapeutic, but I was shocked by the magnitude. It was — and is — surreal and a little bit haunting," said Sarah. "We all have to step up to protect each other more because this kind of trauma is way too common, and it can happen to anyone. There’s this idea that women who deal with these issues look or behave a certain way, like 'she was asking for it,' but that simply isn’t true. If you look at the videos, we all look very different from each other and yet we’ve had these shared experiences." Zuleika Marie Gomez shared her experience below:

Lastly, Sarah said she was also surprised by the number of men who dueted with her as well. "My content is made for women, and I feel I can only speak for myself as a woman, but lots of men were frustrated because they are often teased for opening up about their own traumas. Their pain and frustration really underscored the need for reform on how we talk about male trauma and support male victims," she said.

You can follow Sarah on Instagram and TikTok.