Strippers And Sex Workers Are Sharing Stories About What Men Really Do At Their Bachelor Parties, And It's Surprising A Lot Of Women

"I will say that, from what I've witnessed, MARRIED groomsmen are the most disrespectful and probably behave the worst."

The controversial topic of strippers at bachelor parties has been circling TikTok after user @lillyv made this TikTok:

@_lillyv_

The things people think they can do at their bachelor/rett parties is disgusting. #28XTREMES #iCarlyAffirmation #fypシ

♬ original sound - Lilly

In the video @lillyv says, "I'm just sayin' that if my fiancé has a stripper at his bachelor party, we will not be getting married. And I know some of you girls do not care what your fiancé does at his bachelor party. But if mine has a stripper, we will not get married because that is BLATANT disrespect. If you have a stripper dance all over you half naked at your bachelor party, you don't deserve me dancing on you at our wedding. Simple as that. It's disrespectful..."

Many women shared their stories witnessing what happens at strip clubs during bachelor parties, like user @adoramariei:

@adoramariei

#stitch with @_lillyv_ and all of his friends were cheering him on #bachelor #wedding #bachelorparty #dancer #DontQuitYourDaydream #LeadWithLove

♬ original sound - ADORAAA

In the video, @adoramariei explains, "I never cared if my future fiancé wanted to go to a strip club for his bachelor party — that never was an issue to me, until my 21st birthday. A group of me and my friends went to a strip club...we got to the side of the strip club where the girls are fully nude and it was this guy's bachelor party. They had this man get on stage with two, fully nude women — FULLY NUDE. They stripped him down, took his shirt off, and pulled his pants down. One girl was spanking him while the other was taking her hoo-ha and shoving it in his face and putting her melons in his face. Meanwhile the DJ is over there yelling, 'Yeah! Let's try to get this man laid tonight on his last night of freedom! YEAHHHH!'"

The comments, of course, included women arguing back and forth about the topic...

@_lillyv_ / tiktok.com

...But what really stood out was the number of strippers and sex workers who AGREED and THANKED people who do not partake in the stripper/strip club bachelor party "tradition."

@_lillyv_ / tiktok.com

Countless former and current female adult entertainment professionals shared video after video after video after video of reasons why they hate bachelor parties.

One former stripper shared this story in her video, "We had this thing called the 'groom's special' or the 'bachelor special' where basically your groomsmen would choose two girls — we would drag you on stage, we would spank your ass with a bell, get little glow-in-the-dark markers and draw little penises on you, grind on you for two or three songs — mind you, this is in front of everybody. Their groomsmen would be like, 'Yeah, woooo! Last night of freedom, I won't tell if you take her home!' Did we enjoy doing it? No. Did we feel bad for the brides at home? Absolutely. But it's a job and we are used to men being pigs. Now, at the end, the two chosen girls would take the groom to the VIP room and dance on them, giving them lap dances. The things these grooms would say to us and beg us to go to their hotels...it made me never want to get married."

There were so many speaking up that BuzzFeed decided to speak to a woman who worked in the industry for 20 years. Katherine was a sex worker/stripper in big cities like Vegas, Miami, Houston, and New Orleans.

Instagram: @la_jefa_chingona_tiktok

In her TikTok, she shared, "In each of those cities, for ALL of the bachelor parties, all I have ever seen are the grooms-to-be leave with someone they barely met."

@la_jefa_chingona

#stitch with @_lillyv_ not all men but… all men

♬ original sound - 🇲🇽La Jefa Chingona🏳️‍🌈

In the video, she went on to share, "One time, I witnessed it going down and there was no umbrellas (protection) — and she was a WORKER. A heavy, heavy worker bee. I'm not saying that every man does that but, uh, so many do."

Katherine told BuzzFeed the worst thing she consistently witnessed was bachelors leaving with escorts* — not strippers. "I’ve also seen men talk about how they don’t really want to get married, but everything‘s already been paid for," she said, adding that — in her experience — seven out of ten engaged men take things "too far."

Instagram: @la_jefa_chingona_tiktok

*"I want to make very clear, that there is a clear difference between strippers and escorts. One can be both, but a stripper does not necessarily make an escort," she added. (The main difference between the two is that an escort may offer private, sexual services.)

And even though many engaged men behave badly, Katherine was quick to point out that the MARRIED men are especially awful at bachelor parties. "I will say that, from what I've witnessed, married groomsmen are the most disrespectful and probably behave the worst."

Instagram: @la_jefa_chingona_tiktok

Some women refuse to believe that men pay for a private room with extra ~mouth~ and ~hand~ services, but Katherine confirmed it's a common thing at some clubs. "Some management encourages this and some management does not. It’s all about what clubs you work at," she said.

Even though Katherine believes most engaged men who are adamant about strippers are untrustworthy, she does want to make it clear that she is not demonizing strippers at bachelor parties. "The problem is the men who go there with a lack of respect for their partners, the entertainer, and themselves," she explained, adding, "I've seen high school sweethearts get cheated on at bachelor parties and I’ve seen married men take home escorts."

Instagram: @la_jefa_chingona_tiktok

"There are some bachelor parties that are respectful and girls can make money — and who am I to tell someone they can’t make money a certain way? But I think there should be a LOT MORE respect given to the women providing the entertainment," she concluded.

Special thanks to Katherine for sharing her experiences and thoughts. You can follow her on TikTok and Instagram — AND please consider donating to Katherine's church, which is helping migrant workers and immigrants who have been separated from their families at the border.