Child-free weddings have been controversial over the years, but are becoming more and more popular these days.
But a teen Reddit user u/light_blue000 was hit with that rule by her own dad. In her "Am I the Asshole" thread, she explains, "I was always pretty close to my dad — closer to my mom, but I often visited my dad, about three to four times a week. A few years ago, he started dating 'Anna.' Anna and I always got along; when my dad proposed, I was happy. Anna seemed like she would be a great stepmom."
"Well, a few weeks before the wedding, after I had bought everything (dress, shoes, etc.), my dad and Anna said they needed to 'talk to me.' Anna and my dad decided to have a child-free wedding, which I get, especially for young kids..."
However, child-free meant no one under 18 years old could attend. "On the day of the wedding, I am still going to be 17. Therefore, I’m not allowed to be at the wedding because Anna wants to stay true to the child-free rule — even for the daughter of the groom and her about-to-be stepdaughter. The funny thing is my 18th birthday is just two days after the wedding. But still, I wasn’t allowed to go."
Well, the wedding happened and so did u/light_blue000's 18th birthday — two days later. "I haven’t talked to Anna or my dad since they told me I couldn’t attend the wedding since I wasn’t an adult. My mom ended up taking me on a birthday vacation, and yesterday, I posted birthday pictures on Facebook. I said, 'Finally an adult! I’m so glad my dad and Anna didn’t allow me at their wedding since I was under 18. I feel more mature since yesterday.'"
After she shared this, some of her family was in disbelief and started bashing Anna. "I later got a bunch of texts from my dad and Anna calling me immature and a selfish brat, and that’s why I was too immature to be at a wedding. I was talking to some friends, and they said I was kinda an asshole for doing that and I should have just let it go."
U/light_blue000 turned to Reddit users to get their thoughts — and right away, they sided with her. "What kind of man doesn't have his own child at his wedding? Anyway, they made the choice, and if they believe it was the right choice, they should have no issue about it being publicly known," said u/Decalvare_Scriptor, adding that her sharing why she wasn't there saves her own reputation because people could assume she didn't attend for other reasons (like not disproving of his new wife).
Some people believe that the harsh reality is the rule was simply made specifically to exclude her from the wedding. "The no children was made for you. I’m sorry, but let that sink in. She made that rule to keep you out. You now know where you stand in their marriage… You don’t. I’m so sorry. You're not an asshole," said u/Wandering_aimlessly9.
Plus, many people pointed out that the main reason people have child-free weddings is so they don't have little kids running around. "Your dad and stepmom specifically excluded you and are pissed now that they realize that their actions have consequences and you publicly called them out on their behavior," said u/Sea_Supermarket_9728
"I always thought child-free should be anyone under 15 who aren’t mature enough to basically watch themselves and make good choices so the parents can have fun. But someone who was 48 hours from being 18 being told no you can’t come to your own father’s wedding is just childish. They are the ones acting like children. The original poster made the best out of a shitty situation, and pissing off the new stepmom and daddy dearest is the cherry on top," added u/lil-peanutbutter.
A lot of people saw it as a sign that the dad and his new wife simply did not want her in their lives at all. "Banning a 17-year and 363-day-old daughter of the groom from a wedding because it is 'child-free' is a decision. A decision to exclude. To not invite. To make unwelcome. Not just in their wedding but in their lives."
And everyone backed u/light_blue000's public shaming of her father and stepmom in this situation. "Not only that but they also waited to tell her until she had already invested time and money into getting ready for the wedding! If they told her from the beginning, it still would’ve been heartless, but at least she would’ve had time to process it and avoided wasting time, money, and excitement. NTA obviously, they absolutely deserve the public shaming," said u/DangItMom.
There have also been those who are offering suggestions for how they think u/light_blue000 should respond to her father's recent text. "Reply to your father that you now know where his priorities lie — with his new wife who didn't want any reminders of his old life at her wedding and you will act accordingly. This is just the first of many times they exclude and insult you. I'm very sorry that you've found out this way how little your dad values you, but now that you know, be proactive about ensuring he can never hurt you like this again."
U/whatsmypassword73 suggested, "Keep being wide-eyed, innocent, and totally baffled at why they are asking you to lie about the real reason. Say, 'I kept getting asked why I wasn’t there so I figured it was better to just tell everyone at once.' Never sway from this and keep acting like you can’t understand what the problem is, literally just keep repeating, 'But you told me not to come, why would you want me to lie about it?' Rinse and repeat, never change the wording regardless of how it’s phrased."
