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Parents

21 Unexpectedly Funny Gifts For First-Time Moms

Because parenting should be fun.

Posted on
Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed

1. Crib Dribbler

There’s not actually a giant hamster feeder inside — it’s just a comical box that you can fill with real baby gifts. Order one here for $6.89.
amazon.com

There’s not actually a giant hamster feeder inside — it’s just a comical box that you can fill with real baby gifts. Order one here for $6.89.

2. Shit Just Got Real Baby Blanket

Shit is about to get real when that baby comes! Get it here for $40.
covetedthings.com

Shit is about to get real when that baby comes! Get it here for $40.

3. Baby Mop Onsie

A baby that cleans floors? Sign me up! Get this onesie here.
betterthanpants.com

A baby that cleans floors? Sign me up! Get this onesie here.

4. An Adult Coloring Book

Some of the coloring pages in this book include: Congratulations on Your New Vajayjay, Potty Like a Rock Star and Wine Rhymes with Friday. You're welcome.
amazon.com

Some of the coloring pages in this book include: Congratulations on Your New Vajayjay, Potty Like a Rock Star and Wine Rhymes with Friday. You're welcome.

5. Pee-Pee Teepee

The art of diaper changing with boys just got a whole lot easier. Buy these for $11 and the new mom will thank you later.
uncommongoods.sjv.io

The art of diaper changing with boys just got a whole lot easier. Buy these for $11 and the new mom will thank you later.

6. Boobs for Breakfast Onsie

The baby knows there's nothing like a delicious, nutritious meal to start the day! Get this onsie for $14.95.
etsy.com

The baby knows there's nothing like a delicious, nutritious meal to start the day! Get this onsie for $14.95.

7. Mommy's Time Out Wine

Sometimes mommy gets time out, too. Get a bottle for $7.99.
mommystimeout.net

Sometimes mommy gets time out, too. Get a bottle for $7.99.

8. Go the F%#K to Sleep Book

New parents need this F$%KING book.
amazon.com

New parents need this F$%KING book.

9. Buff Baby Dumbbell Rattle

Get this and the new baby might end up in better shape than you! You can buy one for $14.99.
perpetualkid.com

Get this and the new baby might end up in better shape than you! You can buy one for $14.99.

10. Boobie Beanie

With this gift, mom can show support for breastfeeding and keep her baby's head warm. You can buy a Boobie Beanie for $5.
etsy.com

With this gift, mom can show support for breastfeeding and keep her baby's head warm. You can buy a Boobie Beanie for $5.

11. Taco Booties

This will keep the baby's feet warm and also make the pregnant mom-to-be crave tacos. It's a win-win situation. Get them here.
uncommongoods.sjv.io

This will keep the baby's feet warm and also make the pregnant mom-to-be crave tacos. It's a win-win situation. Get them here.

12. Baby Bangs

This baby wig attached to a headband is only slightly creepy, right? Give that newborn a full head of hair for $29.95.
baby-bangs.com

This baby wig attached to a headband is only slightly creepy, right? Give that newborn a full head of hair for $29.95.

13. Feed Me and Tell Me I'm Pretty Onsie

I'm pretty sure you will want a matching one. You can get one for the baby for $9.99.
amazon.com

I'm pretty sure you will want a matching one. You can get one for the baby for $9.99.

14. Dirty Diaper Survival Kit

It's a Dirty Diaper Survival Kit. 'Nuff said.

15. Tortilla Baby snuggler

Dear sweet, warm tortilla baby, you look absolutely perfect. Get one here.
uncommongoods.sjv.io

Dear sweet, warm tortilla baby, you look absolutely perfect. Get one here.

16. And Sushi Baby.

And dear sweet, sushi baby, you look so serene. Get this one here.
uncommongoods.sjv.io

And dear sweet, sushi baby, you look so serene. Get this one here.

17. Chill Pill Soap

Everyone knows we all need a chill pill sometimes. Get a set of two for the new mother for $4.50.
etsy.com

Everyone knows we all need a chill pill sometimes. Get a set of two for the new mother for $4.50.

18. Bacon Teethers

Since the baby won't be able to experience the magical taste of bacon just quite yet, get them the next best thing. This Bacon Teether for $9.99.
amazon.com

Since the baby won't be able to experience the magical taste of bacon just quite yet, get them the next best thing. This Bacon Teether for $9.99.

19. BabyStache Kissable Pacifier

Who doesn't love a kissing baby with a mustache? Get one for $8.97.
amazon.com

Who doesn't love a kissing baby with a mustache? Get one for $8.97.

20. Kissing Lips Pacifier

If you're not into the 'stache, opt for these adorable kissy lips. Get this pacifier for $9.99.
amazon.com

If you're not into the 'stache, opt for these adorable kissy lips. Get this pacifier for $9.99.

21. Porn for New Moms

Lot of things change after you have a baby, including porn preferences. Surprise the mommy-to-be with these SFW fantasies. 😉
amazon.com

Lot of things change after you have a baby, including porn preferences. Surprise the mommy-to-be with these SFW fantasies. 😉

Looking for the perfect gift for any occasion? Check out all of BuzzFeed’s gift guides here!

Ryan Pattie / BuzzFeed
The best things at three price points