Moms Are Explaining How Being A "Boy Mom" Is Different From Just Being A "Mom," And People Have Thoughts

"If I go, 'My girl does that too!' they're like, 'It's different for boys.'"

I recently came across a Reddit post where u/Ethrynn asked this: "What is up with the whole #BoyMom saying? I feel like it implies some kind of line-in-the-sand attitude that separates mothers who have just boys from the rest of motherhood. I find it kind of a strange way of thinking, but I take no offense to it. I have a little girl, and I can't imagine something that I would want to hashtag #GirlMom because that seems strange to me as well. Aren't we all in this together? I would love to hear from some fellow parents on what you think about the #BoyMom saying..."

CBS

Here's what the parents of Reddit had to say...

"I truly believe that it's a trendy way for moms of kids who are all the same gender to make themselves appear special and gloss over any disappointment at not having a boy and a girl. I think #BoyMom may be more prevalent because it’s assumed (either correctly or incorrectly) that women want at least one daughter. That being said, as a mom of two boys, I think it’s an irritating trend."

CBC

—u/live-laugh-snark

"So many moms that I know personally desperately want or wanted a girl. Then they adopt this huge #BoyMom mentality after they find out it's a boy, and it always seems like overcompensation to me."

—u/blondebrunette

"I've used the #BoyMom hashtag before. It's not meant in a superior way to anyone else. I just LOVE my boys. I was raised by a single dad and wore boy clothes until age 13. I resonate more with boys and truly hated anything girly until my stepmom forced me to conform and bought me 'girl clothes.' I was over the moon each time I found out I was having a boy."

ABC Family

"Funny thing is, I got shamed for wanting all boys! While pregnant with my second, people kept saying, 'Oh, I'm sorry' or 'Will you try for a girl next?' Like, WHAT? I hadn't even had him yet! I was happy and excited, but no one else around me was. So take it from a '#BoyMom' — it isn't superiority or thinking I'm better. I'm just damn proud and happy to be a boy mom only, and that's okay!"

—u/illicitowl

"'#BoyMom' is like saying, 'I spend my day listening to poop jokes, playing in the mud, crashing cars, and talking about superheroes.' It's kind of sexist in that 'girl moms' are seen as cleaner and more organized and have it 'easier.' I have two boys myself, but there is no real difference between the two genders — it's just a way to put us against each other. And it's wrong because girl moms don't have it easier."

Netflix

—u/Blurbmom19

"It’s some kind of weird sexism and stereotype thing. Girls are delicate and quiet and play nice. Boys are rough, loud, and rambunctious. Whenever someone talks about being a 'boy mom,' it’s as if they’re patting themselves on the back because boys are just so much harder. I think it’s dumb. I have a boy, and right now the only thing I would really complain about being a pain compared with having a girl is making sure that damn penis is pointed the right way during potty training."

—u/poisonk

"I’ve witnessed this, and I don’t get it either. I think it’s a stereotype kind of thing. Like, boys 'like getting dirty,' so if they play in the mud and come in covered head to toe, they think, #BoyMom. But a girl is just as likely to do it, IMO. My fiancé’s mom is always saying, 'He’s all boy' about my son, and my daughter could literally be doing the exact same thing right next to him, so what is she?! All boy?! People are weird and just like to belong to something/label themselves."

—u/believeitornotjail

"Honestly? I think it’s because women grew up having certain misconceptions about men, and now they get to raise one of their own, so they are surprised at all the things boys do that they probably never knew about or expected."

Red Table Talk / Facebook

"I’ll just say that everyone expects girls to be sensitive, but society has taught us that boys are tough. When you have a boy, you realize they’re just as sensitive as girls (if not more so), and it feels great."

—u/yetiospaghettio

"I've never actually seen '#BoyMom,' but I do see a lot of '#GirlDad.' So my guess is it's in the same vein as whatever prompted that. I've got a boy, and I can't say I see any differences between me and any of my friends who have one kid, multiple kids, all girls, all boys, or a mix of both. It seems to me that it's just a weird validation thing."

ABC

—u/MyCatsAreDumb

"They are both equally special. It's just a way moms express their joy about having that special bond. I've seen #BoyMom and #GirlMom stuff online."

TV Land

—u/maniacmansions

And when it comes to the differences between having a boy and a girl? All parents seem to agree that there aren't many...

"I have a boy and a girl. My boy is cuddlier and more clingy, and my girl is more independent and self-assured, but that's probably more just their personalities. I don't think there is any real difference in the parenting experience."

MTV

—u/bears-bub

"I have a girl and a boy. The only differences I see are a) how people try to treat them and b) little personality differences that seem to have little or nothing to do with gender. Maybe, as they get older, differences will be more pronounced, but that will come primarily from social conditioning, I think. Oh, and diaper changes are a little different. Both genders can pee on you; the only difference is velocity."

—u/girlwhoweighted

"My favorite is when someone makes a big deal about their BOY doing a thing, like, 'HAHAHA, BOYS DO THIS AND I AM A BOY MOM, SO I KNOW WHAT THIS IS LIKE, BUT YOU CAN'T KNOW BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT A BOY MOM!' — and it's exactly something my girl child does. If I go, 'Ha, yeah, my girl does that too!' there's always this thing where they're like, 'It's different for boys.' Really? Eating dirt is somehow different for boys than it is for girls? Fine. My kid eats dirt differently than your kid!"

—u/MableXeno

"The only hashtag I typically use, if I use any at all, is #MomLife. We are definitely all in this together."

—u/Juliet4440

I think it's safe to say that being a mom to any kid — however they identify — is special! What are your thoughts on the #BoyMom and #GirlMom hashtags? Tell us in the comments!

Brown Sugar / Amazon

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.