29 Unusually Funny Ways Kids Thought People Got Pregnant
"I thought the mommy and daddy peed on each other."
1. "After long debates with my BFFs, we concluded that putting a penis between breasts was indeed how you become pregnant."
2. "I just thought you laid a penis on top of the outer vagina, like a hot dog in a bun."
3. "I actually didn’t think people got pregnant! I thought a man came to the family's house and built a baby for them from scratch. Like with a toolbox and such."
4. "I thought girls got pregnant by putting their boobs over a man's shoulders while they were both naked."
5. "I used to think people called the White House and told the president they wanted a baby. If the president approved, you were pregnant."
6. "My priest had a cane, so I thought when you got married the priest would make a rainbow with his cane (like a leprechaun) and you walked through it and came out pregnant."
7. "I thought a group of people in maternity stores would watch moms and dads touch pinky fingers to make a baby."
8. "I thought people were like little nesting dolls. The dad had the mom, the mom had the oldest child, the oldest child had the second child, and so on."
9. "In first grade, my friend told me that girls got pregnant from riding piggy-back with a guy."
10. "I thought you just rubbed your bellies together vigorously. I also thought babies came out of nipples."
11. "When I was six years old, I asked my dad how my mom got pregnant with my little sister, he told me they washed their underwear together."
12. "I thought babies came from your belly button, so if someone stuck their finger in your belly button, you got pregnant."
13. "I thought you just had to bump your crotches together. For twins, bump twice."
14. "I thought the mommy and daddy peed on each other."
15. "There is a scene in Look Who's Talking where Kirsty Alley is drinking a gallon of orange juice, so I was terrified to drink orange juice because I thought that’s how you got pregnant."
16. "The Sims taught me that all you had to do was kiss your partner repeatedly."
17. "I thought that just looking at a guy got you pregnant."
18. "I thought it was when you swallowed a whole watermelon seed."
19. "French kissing while on your period."
20. "I thought girls were born with a little baby already inside them. Then, the doctor would push a button whenever they wanted to make the baby start growing."
21. "No joke, I used to think I could get myself pregnant by masturbating. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯"
22. "I thought a daddy gave a mommy an egg and if the mommy could swallow the egg whole without it breaking, then it would grow into a baby in her stomach."
23. "When I was in first grade, a sixth grader told me that a boy and girl go to bed, get under the covers, say every curse word there is and then have a baby. I was like, omg no wonder it’s so naughty!"
24. "In third grade my friend told me to never go into the boys' bathroom because if I went in, a boy would make me drink his pee and that's how babies were made."
25. "I thought you got pregnant by eating too much. When my little brother was born, I yelled at my mom to go on a diet and would hide food from her."
26. "I thought “sex” was when two peoples' butts touched. I remember being at a water park and making sure my butt, even in a swimsuit, didn’t accidentally hit someone else’s so that I didn’t have a baby."
27. "I used to think parents would pick out a star and if they wished really hard, the star would fall and end up in the mommy’s tummy….and then the mom pooped the baby out."
28. "I thought you had to get in your bed with your spouse, take all of your clothes off, kiss each other just once, then kneel at your bed and pray to God for a child."
29. "I thought all you had to do was sleep next to someone."
Responses have been edited for length and clarity.