1.
I should have shaved my vagina.
2.
I also should have shaved my legs.
3.
Am I going to tear? Like vagina to asshole?
4.
Am I pooping right now?
5.
How the fuck can I only be dilated one more centimeter?!
6.
Stop telling me I can handle this.
7.
And tell the nurse to stop asking me 20 questions!
8.
Holy shit, my toe nail polish looks terrible.
9.
I hope they changed the sheets in this bed... and washed this gown.
10.
This IV is really hurting.
11.
If anyone tells me to "breathe" during this next contraction I swear...
12.
Oh fuck, it hurts. I can't do this.
13.
I am literally never having sex again.
14.
What if i get paralyzed from the epidural? How long is that needle again?
15.
I'M SO SWEATY AND I ALSO DGAF.
16.
I don't need ICE. I need ALCOHOL.
17.
I feel like I'm in a zoo. There's so many people looking at my vagina.
18.
I. Can't. Stop. Pushing. I'm about to shit everywhere!!!
19.
HOLY F@*&$(*&($*RUW(*RU(@#&)$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
20.
The baby is out. Oh my gosh, I made dis...
21.
... let's have another.
