1. This kid who forgets there is a right and a wrong place to pee:
best part of working from home is having your 5y/o run in while you're on a conference call and cry "I accidentally peed in the wrong place"
2. This kid who knows flossing is a dance move and nothing else:
When the orthodontist asked Jenna if she flossed, she, without hesitation, stood up and began “flossing”. 🤦🏼♀️💃🏽💃🏽 #onlymykid
3. This kid who proudly supports his girlfriend, Demi Lovato:
He handed these out in target saying "buy my girlfriends CD I'm so proud" #OnlyMyKid @ddlovato
4. This kid who is fiercely dreading adulthood:
One of my 6 year olds started crying today and when I asked why she said, “I don’t wanna grow up because I can’t bake, I can only make cereal, and furniture is expensive” Literally me
5. This kid who always finds the humor in exquisite art:
Today my five year-old laughed at this painting in the middle of a museum for like six minutes
6. This kid who does whatever she wants, when she wants:
just seen a little girl confidently walk up to a bath bomb in lush and take a bite out of it, kids are class
7. This kid who values Vaseline and is willing to fight for it:
Was surfing old pictures and found one of my son accosting his dad with a plastic toy knife. The reason? Dad took away the jar of Vaseline he was eating. Ahhh... #memories #funnykid #goodchuckle
8. These kids who are masters at getting what they want:
My kids wanted a karaoke machine for Christmas-little did I know it would be for yelling in the mic "CAN WE HAVE A SNACK" when I'm upstairs.
9. This kid who knows she can't eat the pet fish, so she will just pet it:
So. Got a new fish after Bali ate the original. And this evening Serena was carrying it around petting it 🤦♀️🐟🐶 #onlymykid
10. This kid who always puts safety first:
When wearing your new bike helmet everywhere is the coolest thing! #funnykid #lovehim #onlymykid
11. This kid who really hates numbers:
12. This kid who finds great ways to get around showering:
Ethan just sprayed himself with febreeze because he didn't want to take a shower. #thatjusthappened #onlymykid #goodparenting
13. This kid who is praying for a growth spurt:
My 16-year-old, who wishes they were taller: “The shorter you are, the closer you are to hell.” #mykid #funnykid
14. This kid who knows how to improvise in times of need:
We ran out of apple juice, so we improvised. #brilliantkid
15. This kid who loves sitting, not running:
Nate: Mia, you want to run bases with me? Mia: Yep! This is what that looked like. #onlymykid
16. This kid who lives in his goggles:
You know it's #summer when he wears his goggles everywhere! #onlymykid #freespirit #childhood
17. This kid who causes unnecessary panic:
One of my sons pulled the fire alarm at school as we were leaving. I’m done with today thanks #wtf #onlymykid #mortified
18. This kid who doesn't like dirty floors anywhere:
my little sister got a barbie dream house N HER ASIAN ASS MAKES ALL THE BARBIES TAKE OFF THEIR SHOES BEFORE ENTERING
19. And this kid who likes her alone time with her mom:
3yo: *follows me into bathroom* Me: "Privacy, please" 3yo: "Oh, right" *closes door* "Now we have privacy, Mommy"