1. This person who gracefully showed up to their interview:
*Kicks last night's underwear out of pants leg* Hi, I'm here for my job interview.
2. This person who sustained an injury talking about food:
Today in Alex is bad at adulting, I got hurt at work as a direct result of being dramatic while talking to a student about food
3. This person who used the shopping cart carseat for produce:
Forgot my £ for the trolleys at the supermarket. Spent 5 minutes loitering with intent in the car park until I spotted this bad boy not chained up 👌🏻 Found the child seat very useful for my fruit and veg!! Got scared every time I saw a security guard 🙈😂 Adulting is hard!
4. This person who has only two requirements for feeling accomplished:
Sometimes you just gotta clean your room, apply a skincare routine, and pretend that it's equivalent to getting your life in order.
5. This person whose only "grown" skill is being good in bed:
6. This person who memorizes the location of objects in their room instead of cleaning it:
i may be messy but im ORGANISED messy. if i need eyelash glue i KNOW that theres a tube on the floor under the left side of my bed bc i saw it there when i was looking for other shit i needed and i memorised its specific and random location for future uses
7. This person who is frightened by the thought of someone wanting to take care of another human:
My friend sent me this picture and my gut reaction was panic...then I remembered she’s 28 and has been married for 4 years...😂I keep forgetting people are doing this on purpose now...#adultingfail #congrats
8. And this person who has to Google basic terminology:
When you are childless and trying to have a serious convo with your pregnant friend about their baby registry. #adultfail
9. This person who can't complete everyday tasks without their phone:
Me 10 years ago: What do I need a smartphone for? Waste of money. Me now: if this GPS goes out, I’ll be dead in the woods within a day.
10. And this person who sees all questions as difficult questions:
FRIEND: so how are you? ME: I'm well, thanks! FRIEND: what's new? ME: not much! FRIEND: well, what have you been up to? ME: why are you doing this to me
11. This person whose actions don't align with their capabilities:
I have proven time and again that I cannot handle the responsibility of applying and maintaining nail polish and yet I continue to buy more of it, does this disorder have a name or is it unique to me?
12. This person who will never feel bad about snacking wherever they please:
13. This person who puts candy over any other necessity:
Meant to buy medicine for my cold at target yesterday. Instead I bought two bags of sour patch kids. #adultfail
14. This person who failed at the simple task of warming up a tortilla:
i am bad at adulting
15. This person who thinks being messy is helpful and rewarding:
My friends make fun of me for having a messy car but yesterday mcdonalds didn’t give Maddie bbq sauce for her nuggets and guess what I had in my back seat??? bbq sauce so I don’t wanna hear it anymore
16. This person who copes with sadness by shopping:
therapist: and what do we do when we’re sad? me: add to cart? therapist: no.
17. This person who bought all junk food for dinner:
I'm so bad at adulting, went to get myself dinner for tonight & came back with this selection... WHERE IS THE DINNER HERE?! 😑
18. And this person who describes themselves as only partly adult:
I'm an adult but more like an adult cat... Like someone should probably take care of me but I can also sorta make it on my own.