1.
When you realize you have more experience taking care of pets than taking care of children:
2.
When you don't have actual dishware:
3.
When you still get easily distracted by your stomach:
4.
When you don't understand why infants can't enjoy simple things, like chocolate:
5.
When you are shocked by everyday things kids are capable of:
6.
When you realize helping kids with homework is legitimately hard:
7.
When simply holding a baby feels like an intense workout:
8.
When you forget kids need assistance with just about everything:
9.
And when you forget them when they are in your care:
10.
When you still are not OK with sharing things:
11.
When babysitting for one night exhausts you for days:
12.
When you realize your lifestyle is dangerous to kids:
13.
When simple dreams about kids give you anxiety:
14.
And when your nails take priority over everything:
15.
When a kid's meltdown sounds so scary to you, it's the equivalent of someone being murdered:
16.
When you can't even keep fake kids alive:
17.
And when you know – no matter how much you prepare – this is still going to be you after having a kid:
You, running from parenthood like:
