1. First off, how do you clean IT?
2. And then there's the question of circumcision.
3. And while we're on the topic, what are you going to teach him to call his "thing"?
4. How should you style his hair?
5. Wait, wait. Back to the penis. Does putting on a diaper hurt him or smash it? Or worse yet, stunt its growth?
6. And once he is potty trained, how will you ever keep your toilet seat clean?
7. Is your grocery bill going to double?
8. At what age will he start getting facial hair?
9. When will his voice change?
10. What age do you start talking about condoms?
11. And what if he dates someone you hate?
12. Will he get boners?
13. What do you do when you find lotion in his bedroom?
14. More importantly, what do you do if you find his porn stash?
15. Are you even equipped to handle things like ~wet dreams~?
16. And there's also that fear of not knowing when he'll be taller than you.
