I'm Laughing My Toosh Off At These 15 Quick-Witted Jokes Women Cracked At The Men In Their Lives
"When my husband makes me mad, I send him to the store for something that doesn't exist."
Today I have for you some really great gems from Twitter (or X, I guess) — and they are all thanks to WOMEN. Enjoy this little highlight to your day!
1.
Italian couple fighting in front of me and the guy is holding two ice creams so the girl can move her hands around while shouting
— mariana (@pastapilled) August 18, 2023
2.
me, working my 9-5, while he shows me the pokémon he named after me on his switch pic.twitter.com/1LmJi6Wqsr
— momo (@guacamomole) July 5, 2022
3.
I tested the strength of my husband by having him rearrange the living room furniture. I tested the strength of our marriage by having him move the furniture back to where it originally was.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 3, 2022
4.
god bless america bc you know this isn’t happening on a lawn in france https://t.co/tvAlcVXE6O
— sarah rose etter (@sarahroseetter) September 14, 2023
5.
60% of married life is waiting for your seated spouse to stand up so you can remain seated and get whatever you need now delivered to you.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 23, 2021
6.
Therapist: have you found time for self care this week?
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) September 18, 2022
Me: I ate the fries out of my husband’s order while driving home alone with dinner.
Therapist: *nods approvingly*
7.
I asked my wife to share her queen sized blanket to which she replied she was a queen and therefore the blanket was already at max capacity
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) April 1, 2020
8.
40% of my wife and I's conversations go like this:
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) October 4, 2022
me: what?
wife: i was talking to the dog
9.
When my husband makes me mad I’ll send him to the store for something that doesn’t exist.
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) June 29, 2021
10.
*not letting my husband sleep until we finish this discussion* pic.twitter.com/UVSFKYM8Jy
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) July 19, 2021
11.
My husband asked me what I need at Target... Target will tell me what I need thanks
— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) September 28, 2021
12.
bf took me to get undies n he wanted to embarrass me so he said real loud: “i can’t wait to rip these off with my teeth” n i replied with: “seriously u need to stop, ur my brother”
— Jamie B. (@BigBaDaBoom710) July 5, 2018
i won
13.
I like to send love notes in my husband's lunch like SORRY THE BREAD IS STALE MAYBE YOU SHOULD LEARN TO SEAL IT BACK WHEN YOU ARE DONE
— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) September 13, 2022
14.
My husband: Do you really need another pair of black pants?
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) October 21, 2021
My husband’s closet: pic.twitter.com/0XJpNNrL2s
15.
My husband eating pizza in bed over our new duvet cover shows he's really not scared of me anymore
— Natasha Huckfield (@dramadelinquent) November 7, 2021