1. A kid that doesn't like frosting? Not mine.
2. A kid who doesn't think Zach Galifianakis is funny? Definitely not mine.
3. A kid that refuses to finish pizza. Whose kid are you?
4. A kid who doesn't want Rice Krispies treats? Totally not my son!
5. A kid who takes history notes? He's too intelligent to be mine.
6. A kid who likes to clean? There's no way this one is mine.
7. A kid who wants prunes and not chocolate? Not my genes.
8. A kid who doesn't make good trades? I don't even know whose kid this could be.
9. A kid who dips french fries in milk? This kid (who isn't mine) needs to stopped!
10. A kid who loves broccoli this much? I'm utterly confused at whose child this could be.
11. A kid who enjoys folding laundry? I would never be lucky enough to have a child like this.
12. A kid who enjoys math in their spare time? That's impressive, but it can't be my kid.
13. A kid who only enjoys the middle brownie? Oh... now this IS probably my kid.
Zach Galifianakis's name was misspelled in a previous version of this post.