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14 Signs Your Young Adult Novel Is Going To Tank

Abort, abort your novel is going downhill fast. All tweets by Rachel Edidin.

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1. Does an old white man use the word nubile?

You're right. The world DOES need another novel about an aging English professor's affair with a nubile young co-ed.

The Worst Muse@WorstMuse

You're right. The world DOES need another novel about an aging English professor's affair with a nubile young co-ed.

8:07 PM - 05 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

2. Is there non-corporeal sex?

Kill your darlings, then immediately bring them back as vampire sex ghosts.

The Worst Muse@WorstMuse

Kill your darlings, then immediately bring them back as vampire sex ghosts.

12:31 PM - 14 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

3. Is it soundtracked to the early 2000's?

This chapter is missing something. Try adding an epigraph. Maybe some Matchbox 20 lyrics.

The Worst Muse@WorstMuse

This chapter is missing something. Try adding an epigraph. Maybe some Matchbox 20 lyrics.

4:17 PM - 11 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

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4. Is it titled Aryan Pride and Prejudice?

You know what no one has mashed up with Jane Austen yet? Nazis!

The Worst Muse@WorstMuse

You know what no one has mashed up with Jane Austen yet? Nazis!

5:30 PM - 12 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

5. Is your strong female protagonist plain and homely, yet mysteriously eye-catching anyway?

If a character has curves, make sure to specify that they are in all the right places. Otherwise, readers will be confused.

The Worst Muse@WorstMuse

If a character has curves, make sure to specify that they are in all the right places. Otherwise, readers will be confused.

5:40 PM - 09 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

6. Is your strong female protagonist the only female anything?

Have you mentioned in this chapter that your protagonist is not like other girls? You should make sure to do that.

The Worst Muse@WorstMuse

Have you mentioned in this chapter that your protagonist is not like other girls? You should make sure to do that.

1:05 PM - 08 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

7. Does it have TWICE the exposition?

8. Is anything the exact shade of ~fanfiction blue~ ?

It'd go over great if your narrator looked in the mirror and compared their own eyes to a really specific body of water.

The Worst Muse@WorstMuse

It'd go over great if your narrator looked in the mirror and compared their own eyes to a really specific body of water.

5:15 PM - 07 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

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9. Is there love in the wrong place?

Corgis are hot these days, right? What about, like, werecorgis? Edgy, urban werecorgis looking for love in all the wrong places.

The Worst Muse@WorstMuse

Corgis are hot these days, right? What about, like, werecorgis? Edgy, urban werecorgis looking for love in all the wrong places.

12:10 PM - 07 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

10. Is it too real for even Wolverine?

11. Is a young Zooey Deschanel your dreamcasting for this character?

What if she has a charmingly quirky hobby, like tatting or butoh?

The Worst Muse@WorstMuse

What if she has a charmingly quirky hobby, like tatting or butoh?

12:31 PM - 06 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

12. Is your protag named Mary Sue? Or Gary Stu?

You SHOULD base your protagonist on you. Disguise him by giving him really intense green eyes and an ancestral weapon. You don't have those!

The Worst Muse@WorstMuse

You SHOULD base your protagonist on you. Disguise him by giving him really intense green eyes and an ancestral weapon. You don't have those!

6:28 PM - 05 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

13. Did True Blood already do it?

Go ahead. Make him a vampire. Make them ALL vampires.

The Worst Muse@WorstMuse

Go ahead. Make him a vampire. Make them ALL vampires.

5:59 PM - 05 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

14. Are there white people?

#ff @WorstMuse, they are here to help. @WorstMuse is written by Rachel Ediden.

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