11 Questions Every "Doctor Who" Fan Has, Answered By Steven Moffat

    Also Steven Moffat's Matt Smith impression is 100.

    Krutika Mallikarjuna
    by Krutika Mallikarjuna

    BuzzFeed Staff

    1. Where does Jack's body go when he becomes the Face of Boe?

    David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

    Steven Moffat: Well, we don’t know what happens to somebody when they age for that amount of time. We’ve never seen it. He’s aged... I think the line just before that reveal is Jack saying, “I’ve noticed that I’ve actually started to age a bit." What happens, it would seem, when you get very, very old is that your face becomes enormous! You know your nose keeps growing your entire life? Well maybe the rest of your face just joins in and you become all face! Some of Jack’s vanity would probably turn into an entire face wouldn’t it? So simply it’s an unprecedented incident, no one lives that long, but if you did, you’d turn into a giant face and live in a big vase.

    I feel like Jack’s vanity should allow him a butt though.

    SM: We’ve never seen the back of the Face of Boe.

    There’s still hope for him!

    2. Did the beautiful stuttering love of Donna’s life Lee ("Forest of the Dead") ever come find her again? Especially considering that time travel is known to exist in the 51st century?

    David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

    SM: So technically Lee could go and find Donna again — it hadn’t occurred to me... But the sad thing is he’d come stuttering through the door and she’d say, “Who the hell are you?” Cause her memory’s been wiped so she wouldn’t know and it’d be a wasted trip.

    3. Has the War Doctor ever smiled? What’s a joke he would actually laugh at?

    David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

    SM: I think when the War Doctor smiles, something’s blowing up. I think in his freezing heart when he saw whole Dalek legions burn, he’d allow himself half a smile of grim satisfaction as that terrible old face was illumined by the burning Daleks. What’s a joke that would make him smile? I think probably "You are surrounded, Doctor."

    I love it when we first introduced The War Doctor in "Day of the Doctor," and I showed my little boy that sequence where we don’t even see John Hurt — he just comes in with "Solider, I’m gonna need your gun," and the Daleks are like, Oh we’ve got him surrounded we’ve got him surrounded, and the TARDIS comes smashing through the wall and knocks over all the Daleks who are just, THE DOCTOR IS ESCAPING. My little boy said, “John Hurt is the best doctor ever,” and he hadn’t even seen him in focus yet! John Hurt owned it; he owned it from that point on.

    4. WHERE IS JENNY?

    David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

    SM: [deep belly laugh]

    Everyone thinks I’m going to do something with that! I don’t even remember the conversation I had! I was listening to the commentary on "The Doctor’s Doctor" and suddenly Russell’s talking to me, saying, “Steven said, 'Oh, don’t kill her, don’t kill her.'” I said, “Did I? Did I?” and I looked through my emails and I saw I had said that! All I really meant was — you know that thing that Star Trek would do (as much as I love Star Trek)? It would kill her off so she’s not an annoyance later. I didn’t mean I would use that character later, not that it’s impossible. When I said that to Russell, he said, “Ahh, what you don’t see is that she flies straight into a moon and dies!” So she’s flat on the moon according to the Mighty Welshman.

    5. What are Rose and Ten Two up to? Do you think Rose is living the good life, maybe DJing under the name Bad Wolf or something like that?

    David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

    SM: In her parallel universe? I don’t what she gets up to. In the original script, actually — and it was shot but later cut — Russell had our Doctor toss the human Doctor a piece of TARDIS crystal so he could grow a TARDIS and he and Rose could romance their way around their universe and they could be together like that. Because otherwise ... and that answers a big question for me — like, I was just thinking, What was that relationship gonna be like? First of all the real Doctor’s buggered off after saying, “Have a clone love.” Oh dear god, that is dark — that’s a bad thing to do when you decide that relationship’s over. “Oh, I’ve got a spare, there you go!”

    But the human Doctor would be very very bored working in a garage, wouldn’t he? And more importantly Rose would be very, very bored — they wouldn’t be buying a Volvo and raising kids, they just wouldn’t. They’d have to go do something adventurous; I don’t think DJing would be it.

    6. Have River and Anthony (Amy and Rory’s adopted son) ever met?

    David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

    SM: River gets up to any old thing, she wouldn’t be that responsible. I think the trouble is, what we see of River is River on her very best behavior because the Doctor is there. She’s a goodie when the Doctor is around and hasn’t owned up to all the other people she’s married to. But if you watch the show, she’s always referring to all sorts of other relationships — and the Doctor, he’s not really registering, he doesn’t get that he’s one of many on the shelf. I just can’t imagine her being responsible enough; she’s just so naughty. She’d think, Oh, I could go and visit that kid or I could go and rob a bank. And she’ll go and rob a bank, that’s what she’ll do.

    7. Who actually flies the TARDIS better, the Doctor or River?

    David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

    SM: Everybody flies better than the Doctor. But the Doctor isn’t trying to fly well. He’s not — that’s the point. It’s a perfectly well-functioning TARDIS. We know that now; we’ve know that for a very long time. And he claims that it’s not working. Why? Because he doesn't particularly want to go anywhere he wants to be surprised, so he’s not really trying. He’s just thinking, That’s pretty cool, let’s throw all these levers about. It’s always, Oh, I can’t get you home, but I can land on that spaceship with pinpoint accuracy. He flies the TARDIS always exactly as well as he needs to. Most of the time he just wants to throw open those doors and see what the hell goes on.

    8. What was Vastra and Jenny’s meet-cute like?

    David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

    SM: I actually know, 'cause I did sort of plot it through. It’s not a rom-com. I always thought it would really be Jenny, I think (and I don’t think this is very, very hard to work out for the show), is the one who keeps Vastra in line. It’s not the other way around. Overtly it seems to be Vastra in control, but it’s Jenny always saying, "No, don’t you dare, behave yourself.:

    So I think Vastra was coming up to slaughter human beings and Jenny sort of said, "Just don’t kill them for one more night," and I’d like to think that she maybe told Vastra a story and Vastra got enraptured by the story and each night ended up falling a little more in love with this girl. Something like that. I think their meeting would be quite dark and scary, and in a way Vastra’d be saying, "You’re quite fun I won’t eat you 'til tomorrow." I think that’s how we’d begin with them. I think the principled, noble detective Vastra that we see — again we tend to see her when the Doctor is around, so she’s very well behaved cause the Doctor makes people behave — I think that principled, noble Vastra is Jenny’s creation. She basically said, "You can eat people, but only the bad ones."

    9. Can Eleven actually knit? He seemed very invested in Knitting for Girls.

    David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

    SM: No, otherwise he wouldn’t have to be reading that book. Can you imagine Matt Smith’s Doctor trying to knit? I had that Knitting for Girls book in a couple of times but it always got cut. I always thought that’s what the Doctor would do if he walked into a pub that’s really scary and full of hard men — and reading Knitting for Girls would be his message. I’m here and I read Knitting for Girls, you do NOT mess with me. I don’t care if you don’t think I’m hard, I can knit better than you.

    10. Does Stormageddon still insist on being called Stormageddon?

    David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

    SM: That’s interesting. I actually do wonder about that about very wee little babies, at what point do they agree with our name for them? Because I don’t think babies think of themselves as anything other than the Lord of All, they have to. At what point do they decide, oh, OK, I’ll go with the name. I think secretly he will always have the heart of a Stormageddon.

    11. What would Twelve do if he ever actually met a magician?

    David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

    SM: In the ongoing story of the Doctor’s failure to dress himself, he has, as I pointed out in one episode, ended up quite magician-y. I think 'cause the Doctor is so clever, he wouldn’t understand what the trick was supposed to be. Any of the Doctors would go, "Oh, he obviously did that — come on, I can travel in time and you conceal coins on the back of your hand. Get out of town."

    Season 9 of Doctor Who premieres Sep 19, 9pm on BBC America.