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48 Things The Avengers Have Absolutely Done In Their Spare Time

Can you make it through this post without being killed by cuteness?

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1. Tony and Bruce fight about who the best Star Trek captain is.

2. Poptarts puts Thor on strawberry flavored box after he was photographed eating them straight out of the box in a grocery store.

3. Natasha learns how to knit. The needles are sharp. Natasha likes sharp things.

4. Steve has a new hand knit scarf that he wears even though it's too warm for one anymore.

5. Clint is on a farm....farming?

6. Hillary Clinton tweets at Pepper to congratulate her on her suit game.

7. Rhodey finally changes his password to something less basic than WARMACHINEROX.

8. Natasha teaches Sam how to do that crazy spin-y thigh thing. Sam has the right thighs for that.

9. Steve eats his first deep fried Oreo.

10. Tony vines it with the hashtag #WhatDoesAmericaTasteLike.

11. Bruce does community service in Harlem by substitute teaching high school biology classes.

12. Tony fixes Dummy.


13. Sam gets drunk on St. Mark's with Natasha and Steve, buys a blonde wig, and comes back to Avengers Tower demanding to try on Thor's cape.

14. Tony vines that with the hashtag #ThorYouWillBeAvenged.

15. Clint makes fun of Bruce's short haircut until he grows back out into it's curly natural mess.

16. Natasha knits Clint some Strike Team Delta fingerless gloves for no apparent reason at all.

17. Maria texts Pepper once a day with 'how do you do the thing where you don't kill tony pls help me'.

18. Darcy starts a podcast. It's called How To Tase A God And Other Advice.

19. Clint is on a farm....not farming????????

20. Natasha runs circles around Tony. Both literally and figuratively while she trains him to fight outside the suit.

21. Tony insists on playing Taylor Swift during training sessions because he thinks it annoys Natasha........but actually she loves "Shake It Off".

22. Natasha and Clint go to a Taylor Swift concert which Tony discovers through paparazzi photos the next day and is honestly mad that he wasn't invited. This is how Tony discovers he's a Taylor Swift fan.

23. Natasha knew that already and buys him a concert tee.

24. Pepper deems the shirt NSFBM (Not Suitable For Board Meetings).

25. Jane Foster gets nominated for a Nobel Prize and suddenly Thor is an encyclopedia of ~cool Nobel facts~.

26. Bruce and Natasha do morning yoga on the landing pad at Avengers Tower.

27. And then Bruce makes chocolate chip pancakes because the Hulk can only be soothed with Nestlé's.

28. The Coney Island/Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest adds a superhuman category so the world can see Steve and Thor do what they were born to do. See how many hot dogs they can fit in their mouths at once.

29. Thor asks why Midgard's most loyal friend deserves such a cruel fate and discovers what hot dogs are really made of.

30. Thor throws up all the hot dogs he ate, and Hiemdall tells the Warriors Three about how the Son Of Odin was bested by soft meats. There's lots of laughing out loud.


31. Clint uses more farm skills for maybe farming things that somehow end in him baking a perfect apple pie and leaving it to cool on his farm windowsill.

32. The smell of apple pie more effective at gathering the Avengers than Steve calling out Avengers Assemble.

33. Steve vows to be more likable than apple pie. Only Natasha hears him over the fight for the last piece.

34. Natasha 'let's it slip' the next time she's drinking with Tony and Tony has J.A.R.V.I.S. print Steve a tshirt.

35. Steve now wears the 'More Likeable Than Apple Pie' shirt under his uniform when they're in the field.

36. Sam's out hunting down a lead on Bucky when he gets a selfie in the shirt and finally understands why the kids say FOMO.


37. Bruce is appalled that Tony's never put together shitty IKEA furniture after eating amazing swedish meatballs so they take a team trip to the Red Hook IKEA.

38. Natasha buys tea lights.

39. Clint doesn't break anything, and neither does Thor's hammer, but Thor does $3000 in incidental damage.

40. The only piece of IKEA furniture that is worthy is the Pöang rocking chair. Mljinor tested, Thor approved. Tony buys it.

41. When Tony tries to build it at home he attempts adds a replusor powered hover option.

42. Steve builds the rocking chair.


43. The one time they watch an animated movie for Team Movie Night, it was Toy Story 3, and everyone cries.

44. It might be because Bruce baked some ~extra special cookies~ and so they were all feeling a lot of feelings.

45. They don't watch Pixar movies together after that.

46. But they do do dramatic retellings of the event for press.

47. Natasha claims to have cried the least (true).

48. Thor openly admits to crying the most (also true) because nothing tugs at a demigod's heartstrings than a tale of warriorhood and friendship.

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