Six Reasons Why You Shouldn't Visit Pittsburgh

If you've never been to The 'Burgh, here's six reasons why you should continue to avoid the city with winning sports teams, picturesque views, and educational spots out the wazoo.

1. Because You Despise Creativity & Learning

KLocke

Pittsburgh has The Carnegie Museums of Art and History, The Andy Warhol Museum, Carnegie Science Center, The National Aviary, Phipps Conservatory, & The Cathedral of Learning- all renowned for their incredible exhibits and educational prowess. Who needs all of that brain power in one city?

2. Because You Think More Than One Major Body of Water in One City is Just Showing Off.

Klocke

Pittsburgh has The Allegheny & Monongahela Rivers that converge to make The Ohio River. Three rivers to boat on, kayak on, tour on, & plenty of hiking, biking, & walking trails that follow the paths of said rivers PLUS an annual Three Rivers Regatta that takes full advantage of fun, summer water sports? Show off.

3. Because Bridges are Highly Overrated and Someone Should Have Created an Alternative Already. Like Hovering. Or Teleportation.

Klocke

Pittsburgh has nearly 450 bridges, and one of its nicknames is, indeed, The City of Bridges. How dare it have so many opportunities to traverse its rivers and other water sources to make your driving/walking/running/biking from one spot to another a snap? Plus, they've got The Three Sisters Bridges that are named after Roberto Clemente (a famous baller), Andy Warhol (an artist with a penchant for soup cans), and Rachel Carson (an environmental activist that thought we could use a little less pesticide in our life)- all famous Pittsburgh natives- that are within a few streets of each other and provide for three picturesque routes to the North Shore from the city proper, allowing for multiple routes to get to your preferred sport's parking lot and get tailgating faster. The convenience is simply maddening.

4. Because Sandwiches Should Only Be Comprised of Bread, Meat, and One Type of Veggie

KLocke

Primanti Bros. in Pittsburgh is a local staple for folks on their lunch breaks, families looking for giant sandwiches any time of day, or a late night snack for college students that tend not to sleep, as many of the locations are open 24 hours a day. How dare they add freshly-cut French fries and homemade cole slaw to an already jam-packed, yummy, tasty, sandwich? Oh, and tomato as well. Don't they know I like the mundane when I'm hunting for meal options?

5. Because You Despise Cities With a History of Winning Sports Teams- and Undying Fans That Go With It. And Picturesque Views From the Stands.

KLocke

Pittsburgh has the Steelers (they've got SIX Super Bowl rings), Penguins (three Stanley Cup wins, the latest in 2009), and the Pirates (five-time World Series champs). Their fans are unrelenting, die-hard fans that attend games year after year, and their stadiums and arenas show off the Pittsburgh skyline and downtown Pittsburgh. Can't you just feel the mushy, gooshy love?

6. Because the View from Mt. Washington is Just Too Much to Handle for One Set of Eyes.

Taking one of the historic inclines to the top of Mt. Washington, walking a few steps to the lookout area, and enjoying stunning views of the city is not only breathtaking but gorgeous during any season. Too much beauty for one pair of eyes is just that. Too much.