1. First off, Americans get very confused about what language Australians are actually speaking.
2. They’re completely weirded out by the concept of canned spaghetti and toast, which is one of Australia’s greatest innovations.
Australia: spaghetti for breakfast! Me: sure, why not? Australia: On toast! Me: I'm calling the police #thanksaustralia
Spag on toast is an unmatched culinary experience that everyone needs to try at least once in their life.
3. It’s hard for them to understand that biscuits in Australia are sweet and usually served with a cup of tea.
4. And that fairy bread is single-handedly one of Australia’s greatest contributions to the world.
I just learned about fairy bread and let me just tell you I am kinkshaming. Bread, butter, and sprinkles (hundreds and thousands?) like at least use frosting or something instead of butter for god's sake. it's just uncooked toast with sprinkles thrown on there why? why australia?
Nothing, and I repeat NOTHING, is better than hundreds and thousands sprinkled on some fresh, white bread that has been smothered in butter.
5. Americans prefer their pastries sweet, so when it comes to things like the humble meat pie and good ‘ole sausage roll, it’s almost too much to handle.
6. If there’s one thing that Americans can’t get their heads around, it’s Australian slang.
7. Phrases like “punching darts” and “having a durry” sound fake to them.
8. Americans can't work out why we keep pressuring celebrities to drink out of their shoes.
9. And they have trouble accepting that most nicknames end in “azza”.
The only thing I’ve learned since living in Australia is it doesn’t really matter if you know how to pronounce someone’s name, just use their first letter and end it in azza, oz, ez or -o
Dazza, Bazza and my personal favourite, Shazza.
10. Oh, and AC/DC? Yeah nah, they’re known as Acca Dacca in Australia.
From Wikipedia: "AC/DC is pronounced one letter at a time, though the band are colloquially known as "Acca Dacca" in Australia." ACCA DACCA?! Australia you have finally gone too far
Best known for their classic hit, "It's a long way to the shop if you want a sausage roll."
11. Another thing that Americans struggle to grasp is how Australia celebrates Christmas during summer.
An Australian Christmas Haiku; Tis nearly Christmas We are melting holy shit yeah nah mate its hot
Yeah, we don’t get to have a “white Christmas”. But having icy cold beers, a BBQ, fresh seafood and pavlovas on Xmas day is SO much better.
12. For some reason they believe that Australia is a sunny paradise all year round, when that is clearly not the case.
13. They’re baffled when they find out that we eat kangaroo, aka one of our national animals.
14. And while the time difference means Australia is technically in the future, we always get all the good things last.
15. They don't understand why Australians aren't as obsessed with Halloween as they are. Three words: Magpie swooping season.
16. Don't even get Americans started on the metric system.
Absolutely panicking at the deli counter trying to do imperial to metric conversions so I don't ask for 6 kilos of prosciutto again. Keep your damn Commonwealth snickering to yourself.
The old metric versus imperial system is something we all know about. But asking an American deli attendant for 500g of sliced gouda is a one-way ticket to the back of the line.
17. They can't fathom why Australians think lemonade and Sprite are the same thing.
me normally: being a prescriptivist towards language is nonsense, as language is always changing, evolving me when someone says sprite is lemonade: let's rumble motherfucker
Lemonade made out of lemons is a rare thing to come across in Australia, so we decided to make the word more of an umbrella term. Sprite, Pub Squash and Bundaberg fizzy drinks are all lemonade.