19 Terms That Mean Something Totally Different In Hampshire

    Ah, Hampshire – where the ponies run free and the balls are ever sandy.

    KirstyMerryn
    by KirstyMerryn

    BuzzFeed Contributor

    1. "French pronunciation"

    Paramount / tumblr.com

    What it usually means: Enunciating this romantic language to the best of your ability.

    What it means in Hampshire: Mangling the beautiful Beaulieu Estate into "Bew-Lee”, because you're from Hampshire and you can't get your tongue around the pronunciation.

    2. "New"

    Columbia / gifsoup.com

    What it usually means: Something that has only just come into being.

    What it means in Hampshire: Something that's been around for 1,000 years, like the New Forest, created as a deer park for William the Conqueror in 1079.

    3. "Traffic"

    images.travelpod.com

    What it usually means: A lot of automobiles on the road.

    What it means in Hampshire: Cows.

    4. "Pony"

    giphy.com / Via giphy.com

    What it usually means: A small equine creature.

    What it means in Hampshire: TINY SHETLAND PONIES. They're like perambulating fuzzy footstalls, with hooves, and you'll find them in Brockenhurst.

    5. "Commoner"

    NBC / giphy.com

    What it usually means: A 1950s insult used by your aunt after one too many Babychams.

    What is means in Hampshire: Someone with special rights to keep livestock, including ponies and cows, on the New Forest.

    6. "Tourist"

    giphy.com

    What it usually means: Someone visiting a new place for leisure.

    What it means in Hampshire: Someone who ignores all the "don't feed the ponies" signs. Leave the tiny hooved footstalls alone!

    7. "Sandy balls"

    giphy.com

    What it normally means: A gentlemen's uncomfortable fun-zone issue.

    What it means if you're from Hampshire: A delightful family-friendly caravan park.

    8. "Pier"

    giphy.com

    What it usually means: A promenade out to sea, sometimes with an arcade on the end, perfect for a Victorian perambulation.

    What it means in Hampshire: The oldest continuously operating – and almost exciting! – public pier train in the world.

    9. "Squirrel"

    gifs.tastefullyoffensive.com

    What it usually means: A small, grey rodent with a long fluffy tail.

    What is means in Hampshire: The Isle of Wight is one of the few places in the UK where native red squirrels still live, so if you're from Hampshire, "squirrel" means GLORIOUS TINY RED FUZZBUCKETS.

    10. "Snakebite"

    giphy.com

    What it usually means: A nasty combination of lager, cider, and blackcurrent cordial.

    What it means in Hampshire: Something that Hampshire snakecatcher Brusher Mills may have suffered from. Brusher sold his snakes to London Zoo as food for birds of prey. There's a pub named after him in Brockenhurst.

    11. "Pig"

    giphy.com

    What it usually means: A snouty little grunter.

    What it means if you're from Hampshire: A walking vaccuum cleaner. Each autumn, pigs are let out into the New Forest to eat the acorns that are poisonous to the New Forest ponies.

    12. "Buckler's hard"

    BBC / giphy.com

    What it normally means: When a gentleman of your acquaintance, named Buckler, appears to be in a state of advanced arousal.

    What it means in Hampshire: A historic dockyard, birthplace of Admiral Nelson's flagship, the Agamemnon.

    13. "Test"

    littleanimalgifs.tumblr.com

    What it usually means: A graded examination of your knowledge.

    What it means if you're from Hampshire: An excellent river for otters and fly-fishing that leads to Southampton Water.

    14. "Titanic"

    Paramount / giphy.com

    What is usually means: A luxurious passenger liner with a tragic story, or a classic love story for the '90s generation.

    What it means in Hampshire: Essential local history. As anyone from Southampton will tell you repeatedly, the Titanic originally set sail from Southampton docks.

    15. "Rivalry"

    Warner Bros. / giphy.com

    What it usually means: A competition between two or more participants.

    What it means in Hampshire: You're EITHER from Portsmouth or Southampton. Never both.

    16. "School field trip"

    Paramount / tomhiddles.tumblr.com

    What it usually means: An educational day trip to ogle geographical landmarks.

    What it means in Hampshire: Giggling at groynes. All Hampshire schoolkids end up studying the groynes on Calshot's pebble beach. (Despite their devastatingly sexy name, groynes are actually sea barriers which help prevent coastal erosion.)

    17. "Tree"

    upload.wikimedia.org

    What it normally means: An arborial growth.

    What it means in Hampshire: You know what is just ugly? A mobile phone mast. And you know what is pretty and NATURE and majestic? A tree. So why not disguise the mast as a tree?! It is the Hampshire way.

    18. "Donkey"

    giphy.com

    What it normally means: A floppy-eared equine.

    What it means in Hampshire: A fuzzy, adorable THIEF. Thanks to Hampshire's livestock freedoms, Beaulieu donkeys have taken to helping themselves to food in shops.

    19. "Hobbit"

    New Line Cinema / giphy.com

    What it normally means: Small hairy-footed persons, good at disposing of troublesome rings.

    What it means in Hampshire: Legendary student watering hole The Hobbit in Southampton. Recently, Gandalf himself helped the pub to keep its name after movie bosses tried to have it changed. Thanks, Gandalf. Thandalf.