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21 Awkward Things That Happen On Your First Day At Hogwarts

You end up being late for class because the damn stairs won't stop moving.

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There is no spell to prevent the awkwardness that the first day of school brings for everyone.

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1. When you get to Platform 9¾ and totally eat it in front of everyone.

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Poor Hedwig.

2. When you get on Hogwarts Express, you awkwardly search for someone with resting niceface to sit with.

"Is this seat taken?"
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"Is this seat taken?"

3. When you find a car, and all of your friends can afford chocolate frogs but you can't.

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But it's OK because you find a literal sugar daddy to support your candy needs.

4. When you try to make friends with the "boy who lived," and he shuts you down in front of your entire class.

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5. When you realize you might be the only one who spent the whole summer studying.

Um, sorry reading is fun!
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Um, sorry reading is fun!

6. Or you're the opposite and realize you should have spent a little more time hitting the books.

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7. You realize during lunch you're not socializing because you're too busy shoveling that bottomeless buffet of Great Hall food into your mouth.

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Dat first year 15, doe.

8. When it's mail time, you wonder if you're the only one grossed out by the hundreds of birds flying near your food.

At home, our owl was never allowed in the kitchen.
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At home, our owl was never allowed in the kitchen.

9. Then the worst happens – your parents send you a howler chastising you for not calling when you arrived.

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I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE NO PARENTS, NO RULES?!

10. You almost pee your pants when it's time for you to be sorted – partially because you don't want to be separated from your friends, and partially because the sorting hat is shady as fuq.

Maybe the sorting ceremony wouldn't take three hours if the damn hat wasn't so rude.
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Maybe the sorting ceremony wouldn't take three hours if the damn hat wasn't so rude.

11. When it's time for class, you end up being late because you're stuck waiting for the damn stairs to stop moving.

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Seriously???

12. And when you finally do get to class, you realize your teacher will use your tardiness as a reason to hate you for the rest of the year.

No one throws shade like Snape.
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No one throws shade like Snape.

13. On a bathroom break, you get lost and end up in a totally deserted bathroom where you can't pee in peace without being creeped on by Moaning Myrtle.

It's no wonder why no one uses this bathroom.
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It's no wonder why no one uses this bathroom.

14. While walking through the hall, you make awkward eye contact with a naked dude in a painting, so you stare at your shoelaces for the rest of the walk.

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But... booty had me like: 0_o

15. At your next class, you talk shit about your teacher being late and it turns out she was sitting there in the shape of a cat the whole time.

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*sinks into chair*

16. After classes, you try to master flying but your lack of coordination wins again.

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I can't even walk straight, how am I supposed to fly?

17. And the worst part? A totally ~dreamy~ Qudditch player saw your fail.

They don't call him, "Wood" for nothing.... Sorry.
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They don't call him, "Wood" for nothing.

... Sorry.

18. On your way to dinner, you hear third and fourth year students talking about hooking up in the Room Of Requirement, and you're just chillin' waiting to hit puberty.

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What does "hooking up" mean anyway??

19. After dinner, you get sent to the Forbidden Forest with your frenemy and try and make small talk while also pretending you aren't totally terrified.

Peter Mountain / Warner Bros. Pictures

20. Then the worst happens – you see some magical thing sucking the life out of a unicorn and totally lose your shit.

"My father will hear about this!"
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"My father will hear about this!"

21. And to top it all off at the end of the day, you're forced to rock the teddy jammies your mom packed in front of all your friends.

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