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The Definitive Ranking Of All 68 March Madness Teams Based On The Fierceness Of Their Names

What's in a name really? In this case, everything.

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68. Saint Louis University Billikens

An American illustrator created Billikens in the early 1900s. Too bad a chubby little elf baby won't scare anyone on the basketball court.

67. Massachusetts Minutemen

Named after the highly trained, quick-responding American militia of the Revolutionary War, the Minutemen are actually pretty dope...but then, Missy Elliott.

66. Delaware Blue Hens

Don't be a chicken. HA. HA.

65. Ohio State Buckeyes

Nuts. Grr.

64. Iowa Hawkeyes

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Hawkeye was a nickname of the Delaware tribe and for the state of Iowa, but it's also just part of the anatomy of a bird.

63. Syracuse Orange

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Unless you're afraid of citrus and bright colors, orange is NOT intimidating.

62. Harvard Crimson

Oooh, red. So aggressive.

61. Stanford Cardinal

More killer colors!

60. Louisville Cardinals

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Thank God the team is good, because tiny red-winged birds don't really make anyone piss their pants.

59. Creighton Bluejays

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See: Cardinals, replace red with blue.

58. Oregon Ducks

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Could quacking be considered a battle cry? Absolutely not.

57. Kansas Jayhawks

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Made up animal. Whatever.

56. St. Joseph’s Hawks

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Like an eagle, but smaller.

55. American Eagles

Flesh-eating national bird. Kinda intimidating. Staple store in malls across the United States. Not so much.

54. North Carolina Central Eagles

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53. Nebraska Cornhuskers

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Cornhuskers seems like sweet people.

52. Tennessee Volunteers

Volunteers are definitely nice.

51. Providence College Friars

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And friars are practically saints (like, in terms of godliness, not athletics.)

50. Coastal Carolina University Chanticleers

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Chanticleers are just glorified alarm clocks.

49. Wofford Terriers

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Anyone who owns a terrier knows how terrifying they think they are.

48. Gonzaga Bulldogs

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All bark, no bite.

47. Wichita State Shockers

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Another name for wheat harvesters, shockers are only shocking when you don’t see them coming. From behind.

46. New Mexico State Aggies

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Aggies are short for agriculture and the most terrifying thing agriculture can do is famine. Which, admittedly, is frightening.

45. Manhattan Jaspers

Brother Jasper was the school's first Athletic Director, and Catholic priests don't exactly make you think FEARSOME ATHLETIC ABILITY.

44. Louisiana Lafayette Ragin’ Cajuns

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If you don't like spicy food, then this team is the most formidable thing ever.

43. Wisconsin Badgers

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Badgers.. meh...honey badgers, different story.

42. Cincinnati Bearcats

This South/Southeast Asian critter looks like he'll eat your lunch.

41. Dayton Flyers

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Named after the Wright Brothers’ invention, the logo designers couldn't even draw a plane, let alone be the first to fly one.

40. George Washington Colonials

Interesting? Yes. Intimidating? Maybe to Redcoats.

39. Oklahoma Sooners

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Sooners were early Oklahoma settlers. They will dominate...this land.

38. North Carolina Tar Heels

Nicknamed for North Carolina's historically important export, now it's just makes you think of a foot.

37. Virginia Cavaliers

Cavaliers were King Charles I supporters who had flowing ringlets of hair and elaborately trimmed clothing. Sorry, not scary.

36. Eastern Kentucky Colonels

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Aaaaand their mascot even dresses like Colonel Sanders.

35. Virginia Commonwealth Rams

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Rams have massive horns and massive horns = not to be messed with.

34. Texas Longhorns

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Same goes for longhorns.

33. Kentucky Wildcats

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32. Villanova Wildcats

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31. Arizona Wildcats

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30. Weber State Wildcats



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28. Connecticut Huskies

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Huskies, awesome sled-pullers.

27. Albany Great Danes

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Really big ofie-looking pups.

26. Cal Poly Mustangs

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Can run like the wind.

25. Western Michigan Broncos

Bronco is another name for a feral horse, and feral horses are kinda fearsome.

24. Colorado Buffaloes

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Buffaloes are humongous and pretty ugly/majestic.

23. North Dakota State Bison

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Bison is the real name of American Buffalo, so everything state above applies here.

22. Mount St. Mary’s Mountaineers

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If you know how to use an ice pick and are willing to venture to places where you need an oxygen mask to breathe, you’re pretty badass.

21. Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks

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Lumberjacks know how to use axes and can bring down massive trees.

20. Oklahoma State Cowboys

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More rugged the the Marlboro man without the tobacco sticks.

19. BYU Cougars

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Cougars, a.k.a. mountain lions, are pretty fierce creatures. Cougars, a.k.a. older women who prey on younger men, even more so.

18. Florida Gators

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At any given time, an alligator has about 80 teeth in its mouth that will shred you into human jerky.

17. Baylor Bears

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Bears. ‘Nuff said.

16. UCLA Bruins

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Bruin is the Old English word for brown bears and brown bears have big claws and teeth.

15. Mercer Bears

U. S. Fish and Wildlife Service - Northeast Region / Creative Commons

And I wanna hear you ROAR.

14. New Mexico Lobos

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Spanish wolves. Super cool.

13. Michigan Wolverines

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Wolverines have a reputation for being able to kill a prey many times its size.

12. North Carolina State Wolfpack

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Afraid of the big bad wolf? How about a whole pack?

11. Texas Southern Tigers

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Tigers are the biggest species of the cat family.

10. Memphis Tigers

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This tiger is leaping. Therefore, scarier.

9. Milwaukee Panthers

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Panthers are basically various breeds of large cats that are black in color, which allows them to camouflage really well at night. Stealthy predators.

8. Pittsburgh Panthers

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Even when a panther is at rest, it's probably carefully plotting your demise.

7. Xavier Musketeers

Musketeers had guns — albeit, really shitty, old-timer guns, but still guns. Also, the Three Musketeers were cool, though they were better swordsmen.

6. San Diego State Aztecs

At birth, Aztec baby boys had a shield placed in one hand and an arrow in the other. Their umbilical cords were then buried with those items by a respected warrior to symbolize the rising of a warrior. That's hardcore.

5. Michigan State Spartans

Spartans were one of the most feared military forces of the ancient world.

4. Tulsa Golden Hurricane

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Hurricanes are terrifying if you’ve ever watched the news or lived through one.

3. Iowa State Cyclones

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Cyclones are also horrifying. Natural disasters are no joke.

2. Duke Blue Devils

Um, Satan is the pretty much the most terrifying entity ever.

1. Arizona State Sun Devils

Like, ever. Period.