12 Reasons People Can't Stand Journalists

Journalists: That one group of people that can be spotted from miles away

1. We're nosy as crap

Ever been having a one-on-one conversation with your friend when all of the sudden someone comes up and says "what are you talking about?" That's probably because they're a journalist, by nature. We hear someone mention anything and we have to know what they're talking about. We have to know everything about everyone and we don't let you leave until you tell us.

2. We think we're smarter than everyone else

"You didn't hear who robbed that bank in Indonesia? You don't know what a pica is? Wow, done talking to you."

3. We eat over our computers

We don't have time to sit down to a meal at the kitchen table so we resort to eating while typing. *Bite, type, bite, space bar, bite, click* It's an endless cycle of crumbs under the f-key that, to be honest, we're not going to clean out.

4. We get way too excited when someone commits a crime

I mean yeah it's sad when someone gets shot but honestly, it makes a killer story! No pun intended. We need content to make money and crime is content. "Make sure to get a picture of the dead guy!"

5. We drink way too much caffeine

We have crazy hours. Speech at 7pm, story needs to be in by the following morning. All-nighter it is. Plus, we have to be "happy" in our interviews. That requires a pick-me-up, especially if you're interviewing someone like a Waffle House manager. Zzzzz

6. If it isn't about news, we don't wanna hear it

Your daughter got engaged? What's the angle? Oh. Yeah don't care.

7. We clog your Twitter feeds

We live-tweet events as they're happening! That includes taking our dogs for a walk and cooking dinner. Sorry if you don't want to hear about my stir-fry but there wasn't any breaking news so I had to make do. And if a tweet looks potentially interesting, we're gonna retweet it. Even if it doesn't make sense. Good luck seeing anyone else's tweets!

8. We always have to be unimpressed

Journalists have to be unbiased at all times, even if we're interviewing Beyonce(!) Therefore, we can't get excited when you win a Nobel Peace Prize. We just need your name, age and a quote. Maybe two quotes if you're lucky. But keep doing what you do, founder of a cure for cancer.

9. We take pictures of everything

...even ourselves. Pictures are worth 1,000 words? That counts as like 5 feature stories. We have to take pictures of everything because how else will people believe that there were berries in our oatmeal? Seriously though, an instagram an hour is crucial. Picture or it didn't happen.

10. We are extremelyyyyyyy dramatic

Emphasis on the extreme. Somebody put a period instead of a comma? All hells gonna break loose. When we say "A dog brutally attacked the man on the street" it actually means a puppy nipped at a dude who got to close to its mouth.

11. We are emotionally attached to our cellphones

It's basically glued to our hands at all times. We are constantly checking emails, texting, tweeting and taking pics. We aren't us without our phones. "Can't turn my phone off in church, the mayor's secretary might call me back."

12. We're kind of lazy slobs

We're so tired when we get home, we don't even have time to brush our teeth, let alone take off our muddy shoes. After working all night on a big story, we just wanna crash on the clothing mountain that has taken over our bed. What's that smell coming from the kitchen? It's probably the takeout temple in the fridge. No time to cook when you're investigating a drug raid!