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A Field Guide To Birthday Anxiety

In 10 steps

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2. Tell your friends that you hate your birthday, while secretly hoping that they plan something amazing like a dinner with everyone you love, which magically turns into a cuddle party, or you know, getting wasted, whatever you’re into.

5. Discreetly cry at work when everyone forgets what day it is because your birthday falls on a weekday.


Send your weekly work email with a not so subtle picture as a reminder that they should be celebrating your existence. If you're lucky, they'll give you wine at the end of the day.

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