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30 Awkward Moments From Your Creative Writing MFA

"We met at AWP. Can I email you my short stories?"

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7. When people say, "I don't read contemporary literature because you MFA writers just churn out mediocre bores."

(Translation: "I haven't read since high school. I masturbate to TED Talks." This same sort of dude tends to also blame the minorities, feminists, and pomo elitists. I'm looking at you, B.R. Myers.)

24. When feted, laureled, Pulitzer-anointed visiting authors tell you that publication's not important, and you should write as if no one's reading.

26. When a colleague gets published by The New Yorker or snatches a Wylie agent or book deal and your entire department melts down in a jealous rage.

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