1. You, trying not to creep out your favorite professors.
4. Trying to chase down funding opportunities around the department.
5. Applying to Breadloaf, MacDowell, Stegner, Yaddo, and other A-list artist residencies.
6. Going from teaching comp to bored undergrads to totally hoity workshop critiques.
7. When people say, “I don’t read contemporary literature because you MFA writers just churn out mediocre bores.”
(Translation: “I haven’t read since high school. I masturbate to TED Talks.” This same sort of dude tends to also blame the minorities, feminists, and pomo elitists. I’m looking at you, B.R. Myers.)
11. These workshop comments:
I want a tramp-stamp that says “believability issue.”
15. When a classmate writes something unreflexively sexist/racist and says it’s art. And then later says it’s satire.
26. When a colleague gets published by The New Yorker or snatches a Wylie agent or book deal and your entire department melts down in a jealous rage.
27. When you submit to one of a billion Glimmertrain contests and get this note back half a year later.
Goodbye $15 “reading fee.”
29. These job opportunities on your MFA’s career email list:
- President Trump signed executive orders today to advance the Keystone XL and Dakota Access oil pipelines, prompting praise from pro-Trump unions.
- Press Secretary Sean Spicer at today's White House briefing dodged multiple questions on Donald Trump's false claim that millions voted illegally in the election.
- White supremacist Richard Spencer rented space in Alexandria, Virginia, that he intends to use as a hub for the alt-right, sparking outrage and complaints from neighbors.
- And the 2017 Oscar nominations for Best Picture are: "La La Land," "Moonlight," "Arrival," "Hidden Figures," "Hacksaw Ridge," "Manchester by the Sea," "Lion," "Fences," and "Hell or High Water" 🎥 🎬