1.
10. N/A
I'm a parent to a 3 year old. I didn't get to see 10 movies this year.
9. Planes
Much like a beautiful woman with a voice worse than Fran Drescher's and the intelligence of spray cheese, Planes is best seen and not heard. It's like Disney went down a New York City alley and bought a Pixar knockoff. "Yeah, is Peeksarb. Says it right there. Nine dollars it's yours, Mr. Disney." The only good part is that the American plane defeated all of those offensively stereotypical foreign planes. America! F Yeah!
8. Sharknado
I watched Sharknado because it had two things going for it: 1. It played in my house. 2. It was on after my kid went to bed. I'll watch anything that fits that criteria. (See: The X Factor, Pretty Little Liars, Revolution, etc.) Plus, I learned a lot of facts about sharks from this movie.
-Sharks need a small amount of moisture to survive.
-Sharks don't digest people. They hold them in their mouths like a squirrel.
-Sharks never get dizzy.
-Sharks act better than Tara Reid.
7. The Heat (Plane Edition)
I saw this on a plane on the way back from vacation. I paid $7 to watch it on a 10-inch screen that was jammed in the back of headrest. You would think payment would mean it would be unedited for language but you'd be flipping wrong, you moron with no brains in your scrotum. It was still an enjoyable movie so it must have been really good. If they make the sequel, I hope to catch it on my iPad and really be able to take it all in.
6. Tangled (41st Viewing)
There is great joy in finding something your kid loves and my kid loves Tangled. It was during this viewing that my kid first sang along to every song. I know what you're thinking - That's impressive that she learned all the words in only 40 viewings. Well, no. We also listen to all the songs on repeat on Spotify every day.
5. Tangled (24th Viewing)
This was the time I realized that I really like Tangled. It's a good movie. This could just be Stockholm Syndrome but I don't mind rewatching it. My daughter could say she wants to watch Tangled every day* and I would.**
*She does.
**We don't.
4. Frozen
I hate being hot. I sweat like a man twice my weight when it's 65 degrees. This was a fairytale I could get behind. The snow version of the son from 1600 Penn was fantastic. The princesses were smart and strong like two Dolph Lundgrens in gorgeous gowns. I have a sneaky feeling this will be on next year's list again once it's on Blu-Ray.
3. Step Brothers (Last 40 Minutes On FX)
I caught the ending while my wife was at a birthday tea party with our daughter. Good movie even with commercials.
2. Monster's University
Sully and Mike were back just as I remembered but it was the rest of Oozma Kappa that made the movie for me. I can't wait for the bookend movie, Monster's Retirement Home, where Sully and Mike have to complete their bucket list which mainly consists of scaring all the people involved in making The Bucket List. Send all checks to me, Peeksarb.
1. White House Down
Sure it was the only movie I saw in theaters with my wonderful wife and without our daughter but we really liked it. It's here by default but I'm not embarrassed by it. Channing Tatum as a dad who would do anything for his little girl. You had me at Chan.
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