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    17 Perfect Pieces Of Advice For Married Couples From Married Couples

    It's the little stuff that matters the most.

    Christopher Sardegna / Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

    We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us their most useful pieces of marriage advice. Here are some of the best ones.

    1. Manage your expectations.

    "My parents always say relationships are all about communication and expectations." —eshellem

    2. Never assume, ask.

    "My dad told me, 'never assume.' You will never really know what your partner wants unless you communicate." —c446a5f811

    3. Remember to always say "I love you" and "thank you."

    "I've been married 21 years and we got married young — at 19 and 20. A couple things I think have helped us. Anytime we say goodbye, we always say, 'I love you'; and we make sure to thank the other for all the things we do. Like if he takes out the trash, I say 'thank you.' If I wash the dishes, he says 'thank you.' It just makes sure you never take the other for granted and they know it." —dahrache

    4. Continually fall in love with your partner.

    "Marriage is falling in and out of love with someone over a lifetime. You can't expect to be head over heels in love with someone all the time. You learn and grow with each other and find new things to love." —vanesslopez26

    5. Don't be so quick to judge.

    "If I had to whittle it down to one piece of advice, it's never to accuse, but to inquire. Gain your partner's perspective before rushing to anger. Judging too quickly or too harshly is an avoidable cause for many, many fights." —c4ebc44138


    6. Don't give 50 percent, give 100 percent.

    "[A relationship] isn't 50/50, it's 100/100. Otherwise it won't work. It also takes a lot of trust and respect. People get angry, but then you make up. Remember that your relationship is YOURS. Not anyone else's, so don't compare it to your friends' relationships. And if something is bothering you, say so. Don't sit on it, that only fosters resentment and makes things worse." —catnelsonl

    7. Don't bad mouth your partner to other people.

    "I've been married for almost seven years, been together for a little over eight. The best advice I can give is don't talk badly about your spouse to other people. Instead, just don't share with people what annoys you about the other person. The more you talk about it, the more it becomes real. Is it really that big of a deal that he leaves his underwear on the floor? Not in the long run. Just talk to your partner, not about them." —sarahh4cb069f9b

    8. Don't expect them to read your mind.

    "I've been married to my favorite human in the world for 11 years. We rarely argue.

    The secret is to say what's bothering you. Don't expect the other person to read your mind. That's immature and selfish. Get over your fear and open your mouth. If the love is legit, they won't leave you because you calmly ask them to pick up wet towels or rinse their plate before they put it in the sink.

    If you wait, tension builds, resentment sets in, and it all blows up. It's like holding in a fart. It's embarrassing to release the pressure, but it's painful if you don't!"


    9. Invest in wireless headphones.

    "I'm 46 and have been married for over 20 years. My wife says the secret to our marriage is wireless headphones for the TV in our bedroom. I say it's the fact that we continue to enjoy each other's company (meaning, we still crack each other up)." —karas4e071572a


    10. Make sure your partner is your best friend, no matter what.

    "Your partner should be your best friend, no matter what. When things get rough, your friendship has to stay strong, especially if you get married. Passion is important, but friendship is essential." —ashleyprice

    11. Don't keep score.

    "I've been married four and a half years, and we've been together for seven. The one thing my husband and I have to remind ourselves is compromise isn't 50/50. It isn't an even score of wins and losses." —alexandras45fe1a7cb

    12. Instead of finding the "perfect" person, find who's right for you.

    "My husband and I like to spin our story like this — I don't love you for who you are, I love you for who you make me. There are some traits, habits, and things that we hate about each other, but when we remember that his type B helps me take a step back and smell the roses, and my type A kicks his butt when he needs it, we go together like peas and carrots. Instead of searching for a perfect person, it's about meeting the right person for you." —kang-shykuy

    13. Understand what makes your partner feel loved.

    "My husband and I dated long distance for two and a half years and the best thing for us was communicating everything. You may think your partner can read your mind, but surprisingly that's not how it works. Another big thing is understanding what makes them feel loved, because it's not always the same as your own needs. Overall, it's been three happy years, despite only physically being together for a year of it." —erikamichellek

    14. Treat your marriage like a business.

    "Marriage is always a business decision. Relationships fail due to disagreements about money, kids, and/or sex. You can be committed to someone and keep your financial independence." —ilonamarieh


    15. Treat your partner as if they're the love of your life.

    "From the very beginning, my husband and I decided we would treat each other like we were the loves of each other’s lives, not just say we were. We've never said horrible things to each other, called each other names, or thought the worst of the other when things were bad. Don't hit each other where it hurts." —beccalina

    16. Stop taking other people's advice all the time.

    "My relationship got a lot better when I stopped listening to other people's advice, and started listening to what I knew to be true between my husband and me. I spent a lot of time doubting the strength of my marriage because of all the bad advice out there. People mean well, but no one knows what's best for you and your partner aside from you and your partner." —christinmcmahonr

    17. And don't take everything so seriously.

    "Laugh at all the little things and throw out jealousy. Life is too short to be mad and serious all the time." —bk1

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