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Is He Really That Into Me...

How internet dating perpetrates paranoia which plagues modern life.

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Via stereogum

Remember when dating was simple. You send Billy a note. He checks yes or no. He returns the note. You either wallow in self pity for 2 days, or you start to date for 2 weeks and then you break-up, because he didn't share his fruit roll up. I vaguely remember this, mostly the self wallowing. I happened to be the fat girl up until 17, but it's a narrative we have all experienced. Dating sucks now.

There's no anticipation, or even romance associated with it anymore. We all imagine that day we will run into prince charming at Trader Joe's, browsing in the frozen food section, only to be whispered in our ear, "I love Green Tea Mochi's too, there the best". Slowly turning around to find an ethnically ambiguous hybrid of Prince and Chuck Bass's love child, but that's not reality. That's fantasy because Chuck Bass and Prince can't procreate, and everyone loves Green Tea Mochi's. It's like Nutella. It's like saying "I love avocado", for the 1 billionth time at brunch. Love is lost on the web.

Conversations last 5 minutes over a period of a month.

Via dailymail

I can't tell you the countless times I was "talking" to a guy on Okcupid, only to later realize that the majority of the messages were drowned with ice breakers which never broke the ice. The ice stayed cold, and conversation fizzled away only to appear again 3 months later.

I Met You On the Internet

We all like to view ourselves as cutting-edge millennials who embrace all things digital even dating. There are plenty of people who embrace internet dating fully and go on to have great relationships, but for the most of us its mostly a dud. It's either we are too impatient to get to know someone, or so enamored by their digital self to accept the real person. I've been a victim and also a perpetrator of this.

There's Plenty Of Fish In The Sea

Via memebinge

Why spend my time locking down this one person. There's 7 other versions of this exact person in my inbox tonight. Unfortunately its a millennial curse, the curse of availability and excess. We have the world at our finger tips. We have thousands of people at our finger tips. Always looking for the best. What this enables is waiting. Spending 5 months determining if you should get official because you want to keep your options open. It's a bad habit, but I don't see it leaving anytime soon.

Dating Who We “Think” We Are Suppose To Date.


Many people get fixed on the idea of the person we are suppose to date. Heavily based on aesthetics we seek for those that we think will make us happy. You may be searching for the tech start-up guy, or hip bartender, or environmentalist. Blindly we immerse ourselves into finding the "right one", but this just a fraud. Interests don't entirely speak volumes about a person.

Social Media

I have his phone number, Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, and Tumblr. Suddenly the texts stop. You go into a frenzy not understanding what's gong on. Unfortunately into today's world it's impossible to dodge someone without making a clear get away. The problem is, that the internet enables use to stalk people with out them knowing. Instead of gracefully bowing out of the situation a paranoia ensues that fogs our logic. It's been a week since he text me back, but he's been updating his twitter, IG, and facebook! It's a blow to the ego and unfortunately you can't leave the situation feeling like it was an amicable departure. You however will occasionally be annoyed by his random likes of your photos and statuses.

Guys Are Mostly There For Sex

Via imgur

It took some time for me to asset this. Being a liberal sex positive feminist, the idea of sex on the first date never scared me. Frankly sometimes I would meet up with someone off Tindr or Okcupid with the assumption sex was happening, but it wasn't the initial driving force. There is a difference between men and women. Most women sleep with people who they see themselves liking. Most men sleep with women they find hot. Do you see the disconnect?

While women seek a bond, most men seek anatomy. The guy who sends you the message. "Can you sit on my face?"This guy is probably the most honest guy you will encounter online. It may be crude and tasteless, but at least it was honest. The guy who states, "Hey, wanna grab a drink tonight around my neighborhood, ;)?" This guy's goal is identical to "Can you sit on my face?" guy, but has enough sense to not creep you out, or make you feel violated.

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