Everyone seems to have strong opinions when it comes to tipping culture. How much are you supposed to tip? Should tips be included into the price of the meal? Is tipping your server even necessary?
It's a heated topic of discussion, and the discourse was hot on this post from Reddit's "Am I the asshole?" page where u/MANYLIFES asked, "Am I the asshole for refusing to tip at a restaurant with an automatic gratuity policy?"
"My wife and I went out to dinner at a fairly nice restaurant last weekend." He says, "When we got the bill, we noticed that an 18% gratuity was automatically added. This was the restaurant's policy, but it was not made clear anywhere beforehand. When the gratuity was added to our bill, I asked the waiter to remove it. He politely informed me that it's restaurant policy and could not be removed. Policy or not, I wasn't going to tip 18% AND add an extra cash tip on top."
"I think automatic gratuities are ridiculous." He continued, "Part of going out to eat is choosing what amount, if any, you want to tip based on the service. Having it be mandatory takes away the customer's choice. Why don't they just include it in the food prices if it's mandatory?"
"My wife was mortified by the whole thing and said I was cheap. I don't think it's unreasonable to protest an automatic gratuity policy. We've been arguing about this nonstop. So tell me, am I the asshole here, or is my wife overreacting? Should customers just accept mandatory tipping policies without question?"
This topic hits close to home for me because I personally spent eight years of the finite amount of time I have on earth suffering — I mean, working as a server who relied on $2.13/hr plus tips. I never worked anywhere that added gratuity automatically, so I trudged through my shifts at the mercy of the customers. It never got any less stressful to clock in and think to myself, "I hope I make some money today!" Putting in hours upon hours of sweaty, exhausting work without guaranteed compensation just felt like volunteering with extra steps.
Let me just start by saying this: Servers depend on tips to make a living. Automatic gratuity or not, they need tips to make ends meet. By today's standards, at least 18% to 20% is appropriate. No, the issue here isn't whether or not he should tip on top of the added gratuity:
"When automatic gratuity is included, you don't tip since that IS the tip."
"If the 18% gratuity is already included, then you don’t tip more on top of that unless service was outstanding and you really want to."
"I don’t leave an extra tip when it has already been figured in to my bill. I see both sides. The restaurant is trying to help the servers from being stiffed a tip. But it also hurts the servers if someone may have tipped more."
Let's talk about whether or not automatic gratuity should be included. So long as there's still a system in place where servers rely on tips, then yes, I think automatic gratuity is totally appropriate. It gives the server a well-deserved sense of security for all the hard work they're putting in. People shouldn't get to work and hope they get paid that day. Fair compensation should just be a given.
One of the arguments I have in favor of automatic gratuity is that it takes away the guesswork for the customer. Even people who are pro-tipping still might disagree on what a "good tip" actually is. One person may say 20%, and another might say 15%. Even if they both mean well, they might come from opposing generations or backgrounds that taught them each something different when it comes to the value of a dollar.
I also want to point out how frustratingly customers often calculate tips based on quality of service. When I was a server, even if I politely greeted the table right away, attentively kept their drinks full, and made sure they had everything they asked for...sometimes they still decided to leave a small tip or none at all for reasons outside of my control. Did the food take a long time to cook? No tip. Was the restaurant too cold? Oop — no tip for me. Automatic gratuity guarantees the server will be compensated for their time instead of punished for parts of the dining experience they have literallyyyy no power over.
Something else to take into account is that servers are behind the scenes doing sooo much more than just waiting on tables. Serving is the only job I know of that requires "sidework" — things like deep cleaning the whole restaurant (yes, including the bathrooms <3) and rolling mountains of silverware. Sometimes servers have to stay hours after their shift to complete sidework, and they definitely aren't making tips during that time. When I say servers rely on tips, I REALLY mean it. Like, imagine scrubbing toilets in the men's bathroom for $2.13 an hour after getting horrible tips all shift. I don't have to imagine! I just need to close my eyes and remember.
Yes, employers should pay their servers a living wage. They should! But as of right now, they don't. Tipping is a part of going out to eat whether it's a system you agree with or not. If you go out to eat, you're agreeing to take part in that system. If you're someone who tries to "stick it to the man" by not tipping, just know it's truly not the flex you think it is. You aren't challenging The System™ by doing this — you're just hurting your server.
"Tips are only this high because capitalist employers are cheap pieces of garbage that refuse to pay their employees living wages."
"I hate automatic gratuities as well. But I just pay it. Why? Because it’s not the server’s fault that the restaurant does that. So why would I punish them?"
Okay, now it's time for my hottest take of all. This might get some people riled up. The main reason I support automatic gratuity is because servers deserve a tip even if the service isn't perfect. The days of leaving a tip "for excellent service only" are in the past. Tips are not some added bonus to the server's wages. They ARE their wages. If you think they went above and beyond, then go ahead and tip on top of the automatic 18%. If you simply choose not to tip, then they simply won't be paid a livable wage.
