20 Dogs Who Just Want A Damn Job

The stages of unemployment.

1. Excited and Free

What is this, grass? That’s the stuff.

2. A Little Bored

No more bones to pick, no more shoes to bury… what to do, what to do?

3. Uncertainty About Your Life Choices

What was I thinking?

4. Start Applying Via The Vast Job-Wasteland Called the Internet

And… Nada.

5. Flirt With Friends on LinkedIn

And remind them when you met that one time in that bar.

6. Cry A Little

Preferably on a phone interview with a potential employer.

7. Frustration

Seriously? You’re pulling that shit?

8. A Glimmer Of Hope

Possibly, maybe… say what???

Renewed Self Confidence

I just KNOW I’m the most adorable one for the job.

9. Interview Panic

I just don’t know what to do. I have those butterflies in my chest and I think I’m gonna puke on the carpet. And then eat it.

10. The Manic Follow-Up

HAHAHAHAHA! Yeah, just wanted to see if you’d made a decision. Just wanted to tell you I had a great time meeting you. Can I buy you coffee? A beer? HAHAHAHAHA I know, I’m perfect for it right?

11. Cry Some More

Don’t come near me.

12. Reexamine Your Potential

Who do you want me to be?

13. Reconsider Your Priorities

Maybe naps ARE a priority after all…

14. Refocus Efforts

You have options.

15. Take A Breather and Gain Perspective

Yes, I am pursuing that career path. Actively.

16. Become Sure Of Yourself

I got this.

17. Find Your Purpose

I am MEANT to guard. I am Vicious. I am Victorious.

18. Beg A Little

I’ll do anything for the Cheetos.

19. Have A Friend Come Through


20. Get A Job Offer

For shiz??

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