For those living under a rock: Hello! Welcome to the 2016 presidential election. Where the candidates are made up and the policies don't matter.
In November, our nation is going to change forever. I can hear the history textbook authors frantically typing as we speak.
Let's face it - Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump. YUCK. This is like choosing between brussel sprouts or beets as a side for dinner. Most people would rather not eat for the rest of their lives, and those who like one or the other are being seriously judged by the rest of us. How did we come to this? I'm not a historian and if I tried to tell you, I'm sure my high school would revoke my diploma.
If you've been following the campaign, I'm sure you have a similar thought to what I wish was more of us in this country: "How the hell is Donald Trump actually the Republican nominee?" Well, when you wish upon a star (and make a lot of unattainable promises and are known for being wealthy) anything your heart desires will come to you.
But is Donald Trump *that* bad?
If you think about it.. actually, don't think about it. If you think about it, the answer is yes. But stick with me here.
Trump is a phenomenon. An unbelievable part of our daily lives. CNN even halted coverage of the attack on Brussels in March to talk about the *breaking news* that was Trump tweeting insults directed at then-candidate Ted Cruz's wife. He's everywhere. Nobody even talks about the weather anymore when partaking in uncomfortable small talk with strangers and distant relatives.
Trump has brought a certain part of America together - more so out of hatred toward him, but regardless, we are together. (We are also playing Pokemon).
What I think is most beneficial about Trump is his imagination and optimism. The "Trump Wall" has taken over the simple minds of America, in hope that this wall will keep out the people who are doing the jobs we as Americans don't want to do. What a deal!
This wall isn't going to cost too much, either. On September 14, 2015, at a rally, Trump said it'll cost approximately $10 billion, which means $4 billion for him. I don't know how he'll do it, but that should be exciting to watch.
But wait, on February 9, 2016, Trump told MSNBC it would be $8 billion. Then on February 29, he said $10 billion in an interview with Fox News. Two days prior, he told Bentonville, Arkansas that it would be "$12 billion, depending."
However, screw how much it'll be, because MEXICO IS PAYING FOR THAT SHIT!
Okay, I know that Mexico said they wouldn't. I mean, Former President of Mexico, Vicente Fox has said, verbatim, "I'm not gonna pay for that fucking wall."
Trump's response to this: "The wall just got 10 feet taller, believe me." *The crowd goes crazy - almost as crazy as Trump is* (My inner logical, educated self actually died when he said this, BTW).
You'd think Trump would stop talking about the wall by this point, but here's the problem: his campaign is riding on this impossible wall. He still fully believes in this wall. I imagine he's ready to plaster "Trump" on that wall, and he'll treasure it like one of his many endeavors (Trump Airlines, Trump Steaks (only available at Sharper Image), Trump Magazine, Trump International Magazine, etc.).
If this isn't optimism, I can't tell you what is. The world needs more of this. We can all learn a lesson from Trump.
Who cares how misogynistic, racist and relentlessly apathetic to his actions Trump is? Who cares how stupid we look to other countries? Who cares that Canada is offering Americans a refuge in their country?
Well, I care. You should care. We should all care. But if you don't care, or understand why you should care, maybe you *shouldn't* care about voting this election.