1.
English majors only want one thing and it’s discussing
2.
(english major moving apartments) there’s a lot to unpack here
3.
English majors will name their bar trivia team “Tequila Mockingbird” and not get a single Literature question right
4.
PHILOSOPHY MAJOR: humanity is at risk STEM MAJOR: because global warming is affecting sea levels ENGLISH MAJOR: is it affecting or effecting
5.
If your party doesn't have seven rooms divided by color and a masked figure who symbolizes the notion that death is surely coming, don't bother inviting me
6.
LAWYER: Can you tell the court where you were the night of the murder ENGLISH TEACHER: I'm sure I CAN, yes LAWYER: Ugh. Please tell the court where you were the night of the murder ENGLISH TEACHER: Much better. I was killing the victim
7.
Who even is the third person
8.
Me: hi! sorry it took a while to get back to you!! i was reading! Human: uh it's been 3 years??? Me: do you realise how many books there are
9.
english teachers thought it was such a flex to introduce us to edgar allen poe
10.
(WW1 1915) ENGLISH GENERAL: Plan? ENGLISH LIEUTENANT: Well, the trenches can be used to- ENGLISH MAJOR: to symbolise man's emptiness, yes...
11.
Hey I think you're Really cool I Like You A lot. Maybe we can H A N G Out... Or something. - e.e. cummings
12.
reading classics because you want to:🥰🥰🥰🥰🤩🤩🤩🤩 reading classics because school tells you to: 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮
13.
I wish I hadn’t taken AP English. Now everytime I’m on a street I’ve been on before I’m like “this is a metaphor” or “wow symbolism” but that is actually just something that happens when you live in an area
14.
[wedding] "and now the groom will read his vows" me: you make every day feel like a scholastic book fair
15.
one thing i love about jane austen is that she's like "riding a horse isn't sexy. u know what's sexy? CARRYING an EXTRA UMBRELLA. what's sexy is when a man DISTRACTS and REMOVES some INFANTS who are BOTHERING U. NOTICING when ur TIRED and finding u a SEAT...THAT is the sex"
16.
Is it lit? Yes, it's lit. It's English Lit, and I think you're going to love it.