We asked the BuzzFeed Community to share their most embarrassing pet stories. Here are the most hilarious responses:
2. "My labrador found where I put his food so before I noticed, he ate about 6 pounds of dog food. I decided to take him for a walk, since he looked like he was about to throw up. When we were walking, we saw a couple having picnic. The boyfriend wanted to pet my dog while his girlfriend looked a little afraid. The boyfriend came near us and as he was rubbing my dog's belly, my dog threw up on the man's shoes. All 6 pounds of dog food. He was soaked in dog vomit."
3. "My dog Harley got in to the bathroom trash and was playing a little too rough with some friends we had over. He started making retching noises and vomited up a used condom in the middle of my living room."
4. "While everyone was enjoying fried turkey for Thanksgiving, Clyde, our 50 pound Corgi sauntered by the table and began projectile vomiting and shitting turkey oil all over the carpet and our guests. It was so bad that everyone basically ran out of the house. We had to replace the carpet and we never deep fried a turkey again."
5. "My dog is terrified of the vet. When they got him back in the exam room he decided to pee on himself, on the floor, on my shoes, on the table, on the vet, and on the vet tech. He basically flooded the room. He's not allowed back without being heavily medicated first."
– Emily Finsterbusch, Facebook
7. "I was walking my Great Dane down the beautiful waterfront boardwalk one day when she decided to stop and poop. As if that wasn't bad enough, it was foul-smelling diarrhea. I couldn't even attempt to scoop it up with the bags I had. Splattered all over the boardwalk. We got so many dirty looks. I got a bottle of water and tried to wash it away, but it just watered it down and spread it even more."
8. "My beagle, Fern, would snack on our chihuahua mix's poo. She took it one step further and would eat it as it came out."
9. "I took my dog to a hotel where there was a revolving door. She poops when she gets nervous and I thought she would be fine going through the revolving door. I was wrong. She pooped and it just kept revolving, and revolving, and revolving. I walked in circles trying to pick it up as it had been smeared into the carpet."
10. "My maltese went to the beach with my mom and her date and ate a bunch of sand. When they got home, we were all on my front porch, and my mom passed my dog to her friend. My dog proceeded to shit sand all over the place, including on my mom's date. There wasn't another date."
11. "I live in an apartment building, and once I was going to walk my dog when we ran into a neighbor with her dog at the lobby. While she was telling me that her dog had just been groomed, the dogs sniffed each other, and then my dog peed on top of the other dog."
– Catalina González, Facebook
13. "We were hosting a large family gathering at my house. We had a few lovely scented candles lit to add to the experience. My cat jumped on to the coffee table and walked past a candle. His butt caught on fire and my aunt ran around smacking him to put it out. Instead of beautiful scented candles, the house smelled like burning cat ass. It was a rather pungent odor that I will truly never forget."
14. "We had just moved into a new house and Bowie, our new puppy, was really into exploring all the boxes and bags that were around him. This was fine, until my mother-in-law came over to see the house, and our cute new puppy innocently dropped a vibrator at her feet."
15. "I had a very cute boy over at my house when I was in high school, and everything was going great. Pretty soon my dog decides to join us on the couch, and drops a used pad on said boy's lap. He got into the trash and must have decided that was the perfect gift for our houseguest. Needless to say, Cute Boy never came back for a second visit."
16. "My dogs also had a fetish for getting into my laundry hamper and playing with my dirty underwear. Long story short, I came home from work many times to see my dirty underwear strewn all over my front yard. What is worse, we lived near an elementary school and the dogs caught on that if they timed their underwear-play right, the kids would be walking home from school."
– Mathew Mercury Jones, Facebook
18. "I was walking my dog Luna with my mother when this stranger came up to Luna and offered her a treat. My mother said, "She doesn't usually take treats from strangers," but this stranger didn't care. Luna took the treat, swished it in her mouth, and spat it out."
19. "A while ago, my mom and I had to take care of my cousin's newborn baby. Right before it was time for the baby to go to bed, I rocked it in my arms while sitting on my the couch. My dog, Percy, was in front of me sitting and started to pant which means he was anxious. All of a sudden he jumps on the couch and comes straight for the baby and then precedes to HUMP HIM. I was so confused and so was the baby."
21. "My BFF and I went to my parents house for a holiday break. For this story, please know that my BFF is top heavy and likes to show it. So we get to the house and my boxer jumped up on her and proceeded to give her the most intense breast cleaning with her tongue that any one had seen – in front of my parents! She got really deep in her cleavage and never broke eye contact with my BFF while doing so."
22. "When my husky mix Petey was younger than he is now, we took him to our local "Bark in the Park." There was an area set up for the dogs to play around on, so we got him to the start of the track, threw the ball, let him go, and instead of going after the ball, he did a 180 and ran out of the flyball area and down a field toward the parking lot. We went chasing after him and when we finally caught sight of him again, it was just in time to see him jump into the open door of somebody's minivan. "
– Lizzie Ann Lehmann, Facebook
23. "My sister got a guinea pig named Cocoa. Cocoa climbed up my shirt and rested between my shoulder and neck. Then, I felt something warm sticking out at me. I thought nothing of it. Then, I felt some motion. I'm in the middle of playing a video game so I'm not even paying attention to the fact my sister's guinea pig is humping my shoulder. I then start to feel something wet on my shirt. My mom lifts Cocoa off me. THE GUINEA PIG CAME ON ME! I never held him ever again."
– Kalypso Manipso, Facebook