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21 Tweets The Government Agent Watching You Will Love

*winks @ webcam*

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1.

*sings Hollaback Girl in the shower* Government agent spying on me:

2.

The government agent spying on me through my front camera has had enough 😔

3.

Me, flirting with the government agent assigned to me through my webcam, hoping to get a government sugar daddy

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4.

me: *double texts a boy who left me on read* government agent who reads all my texts: oh i see she's back on her bullshit again *sigh*

5.

me: *is tweeting fake positive shit while binge eating junk food and on the fourth day of my depression hibernation… https://t.co/rjqyq8gyMC

6.

me, peeling tape off webcam: hey guys whats apoptosis mean? little FBI voice within my computer: programmed cell d… https://t.co/uwFZNQnRZm

7.

Your government agent watching you tweet about the government agent watching you while the government agent that’s… https://t.co/kpSFexO5XN

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8.

the government agent that is assigned to me while im playing my playlist when im in the shower

9.

i hope the government agent spying on my activity likes all these pics of kylo ren

10.

the two gay government agents watching me lip sync to britney through my webcam

11.

hope the government agent watching me through my webcam is enjoying my one woman production of Jesus Christ Superstar this morning

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12.

the government when they see beyoncé through her laptop webcam

13.

me: *covers the camera from my laptop's webcam with tape* the government agent always watching me: *texting me* omg r u mad at me?

14.

i hope the goverment enjoys watching me through my webcam watching ariana interviews til' 3 am crying my eyes out

15.

me threatening the government agent monitoring me through my phone camera after realising they did nothing but watc… https://t.co/ajvEGE2kma

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16.

me saying goodnight to the government agent assigned to me through my webcam

17.

Me trying on clothes for a first date and asking the government workers in the webcam what they think

18.

the FBI agent that monitors me through my laptop watching me try to take a cute selfie

19.

My assigned FBI agent clicking yes when Netflix wants to know if I’m still watching, because they’re binge watching… https://t.co/P4VsNpVqmP

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20.

sometimes I think a lot about the government agent that monitors me through my phone and laptop and I wonder about… https://t.co/XtcRH0IAFs

21.

me: [laughing at one of those “FBI agent watching me through my laptop” tweets] the FBI agent watching me through m… https://t.co/LwscqKhYBe