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61 Things You Should Never Say To A Bartender

It's time to raise the bar.

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1. Is this your actual job?

2. But you seem so smart.

3. But you're REALLY funny.

4. Beer me.

5. Surprise me.

6. Can you make me something without calories?

7. Are there calories in vodka?

8. Do you have diet tonic?

9. Can you just make me something good?

10. Do you know how to make a mojito?

11. Is that what you actually want to do?

12. Did you go to college?


13. Does your girlfriend mind that your job is to flirt with other girls?

14. Does your boyfriend mind that guys hit on you all the time?

15. Do you make minimum wage?

16. I know you've got nice legs even though I can't see them.

17. Hey, buddy!

18. Hey, pal!

19. Hey, hon!

20. Hey, sweetie!

21. Hey, bartender!

22. You take care of me and I'll take care of you.

23. Hey, hey! (snap)

24. Hey, hey! (whistle)


25. Do you know who I am?

26. Do you know who I'm with?

27. I'm on her tab. (vague hand gesture)

28. It's my birthday! Free drink?

29. Will you take our picture?

30. Make it strong.

31. Sorry, I'm really drunk.

32. Do you like your job?

33. Hey, smile!

34. Can you make me something sweet?

35. What job would you actually like to have?

36. Is the third drink free? This is my third drink.


37. Can you split this check? Into fifths?

38. You single?

39. Is that wedding ring real, or is it to keep people from hitting on you?


41. Did you go to bartending school?

42. Hook me up.

43. What should I have?

44. Can you make something fruity?

45. Not a lot of ice, ok?

46. Do you ever give out your phone number?

47. Do you have insurance?

48. What's good?


49. How much should I tip?

50. Are the lemons and limes fresh?

51. What here is gluten-free?

52. Bet you get hit on a lot.

53. I know the owner.

54. Do you make pretty good money?

55. Is it weird if I friend you on Facebook?

56. Do you have a phone charger?

57. Can you change the music?

58. Can you keep my coat back there?

59. You must drink a lot.

60. Can you do any bar tricks?

61. Have you seen Cocktail?

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