Welcome, my dudes. We're here today to talk about everyone's two favorite topics: Disney and food. As you may or may not know already, Pixar Fest is going on at Disneyland in Anaheim, California, which means there are lots of special Pixar events to see, and more importantly, lots of special Pixar treats to eat.
One of the biggest Pixar food initiatives at Disneyland is the Alien Pizza Planet restaurant that just opened in Tomorrowland. It's based on the beloved fictional restaurant from Pixar's Toy Story.
They have a great menu full of Toy Story–centric foods, like Green Star Pesto Pasta, Alien Blackberry Lime Parfait, Alien Macarons, and most importantly, Cheeseburger Pizza.
Listen, I am not an excitable person. Very little excites me. I have been this way since birth and I will be this way until I die. It is just a fact.
But I need to talk to you, with deeply uncharacteristic excitement, about the Cheeseburger Pizza. It has altered not just my taste buds but how I perceive reality in general.
It's a thickish crust pizza topped with pizza sauce, cheese, ketchup, yellow mustard, chopped-up burger patties, a house-made burger sauce, and pickles. When you first pick it up, it's a really heavy slice of pizza. It earns its $8.49/slice price tag.
But let me tell you: This is easily the most delicious food I've ever had at any Disney amusement park. Something about this pizza is pure magic, and all those ingredients work together to form something unexpectedly delicious. I, in short, housed that entire piece of pizza in an embarrassingly short amount of time.
At one point, the pizza was so heavy and I was eating it so enthusiastically, I dropped a piece of the burger and made a noise that can only be likened to the anguished cry of a wounded animal. This is, I think, what they call "love."
In short: I hope they make this a permanent menu item in every Disney establishment across the world, but just in case they foolishly don't, go get a slice at Pixar Fest between now and Sept. 3. Then maybe email or @ me so we can talk about it some more.