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An Open Letter (In GIFs) To That Guy Who Replied "Sorry I'm Not Into Asians"


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So I made the first move and texted you hi on the gay-dating app... and this is what you replied:

"Sorry I'm not into Asians."

And my first reaction was like...

I wasn't even asking you about take-outs.

And then I WAS LIKE,

Are you serious?????

And to be honest I wasn't even offended by the turn-down, because the shock that I received from that race-based reply of yours was simply too immense and overpowering.

(And you see I am being careful here not to straight away throw in the term "racist.")

But since you (actually) took the effort to reply, I am wondering if you were expecting some sort of a reply from me? Like:

"Hold up. Let me go put my white face on and then send you another picture and hopefully we would be good to go."

But seriously... are you kiddin' me?

Cut to the chase, my first point is this:

Yes, everyone has the freedom of expression.

Yes, you can say what you want. You have your freedom of speech. But get THIS: Not everything needs to be verbalized.

The reason why I'm upset is not that you gave a no-go, but that you actually took the opportunity, made the effort to say it in my face, that my race is a "thing" and it is a no-go for you.

Don't get me wrong, everyone has their own preferences. Everyone is entitled to their own preferences, their own fetishes, their own inherent attraction to certain things.

Some people prefer really tall guys, some people don't really give a sh*t. Some prefer bears while others go for twinks. It's fine. It's completely normal.

But to signify your racial preference by verbalizing your discrimination against another race? That, honey, is not cute.

(For my straight friends, bears refer to gay men who are big in size and hairy, and twinks refer to gay men who are skinny and with boyish looks.)

Do I really need your honesty?

Well, the answer is No.

Yes, you could argue that you were replying in all honesty, but your text, laced with that racist undertone, is nothing but distasteful.

One point it did bring across though: You are actually an a**hole.

To give you the benefit of the doubt, maybe you aren't even aware that you're being such a d*ck to other people. Nonetheless, you are a disappointment.

Perhaps it's not even because you saw the need to verbalize your "lack of sexual attraction" towards Asians, but the fact that you felt/feel like it's your absolute right to openly express your racialized opinion. To say that you do not prefer Asians (or Blacks or Latinos) -- for god-knows-what racist (there, i'd said it) reasons you hold inside -- right in other people's face. Like it's just a matter of fact. Like there is no consequence whatsoever to vocalize something that is so not politically charged at all.

Well you might argue, "But I do have friends who prefer Asians."

Ermmm really? Does that even prove anything?

Or "But I do have friends who are Black, Hispanic, Asian and all. So that proves that I'm not a racist."

Excuse me, but you having a non-white roommate is in no capacity to right your deed of telling other people straight in their face that their race is a problem, and in fact, the make-or-break factor.

I only wonder, what are the other ways and areas in life where you had used or would use the race card to decide go or no-go.

What could you have done?

You could have just not replied at all.

No, the world does not revolve around you #ICYDK. My world will not crash and burn just because I don't get a response from you. I will not be spending eternity waiting for you to call. #tyvm

And you know what?


The only pity is that I didn't get a screenshot of your profile and our short-lived but interesting interaction.

And just so you know, I wrote this post not because I'm still really sour about the whole incident. On the contrary, I am rather grateful to have been inspired by you to such extent. So thank you, I guess. And I do hope that you go far in life with those tainted glasses on.




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