9 Tips For A Happy Marriage According To "The Honeymooners"

They may have squabbled for years, but Ralph and Alice Kramden just expressed affection in a different way.

1. Occasionally throw a sandwich at your spouse.

In the episode “A Matter of Record,” Ralph finds out he has the measles and tells Alice to stay away so she doesn’t get sick. She tosses him steak and tells him she loves him on her way out the door. Classy.

2. Solve every fight by making-out.

For a show that aired during the 1950s, there was a surprising amount of physical affection between the two leads.

3. Dance like there’s no tomorrow.

Jackie Gleason did physical comedy so well that Ralph seemed surprisingly light on his feet for such a big guy.

4. Be patient if your partner chooses to look like a cross-dressing robot.

Ralph, a bus driver, was always coming up with one hairbrained scheme or another to make a lot of money fast. They were, unsurprisingly, less than successful.

5. Say things like “One of these days…POW! Right in the kisser!” or “BANG, ZOOM! Straight to the moon!” when irritated.

Ralph was always saying sort of scary (but famous) things when Alice annoyed him. These empty threats are an effective way to let off steam (if they’re just empty).

6. To men: Cry.

Ralph was actually a huge softy and had way more bark than bite. He could break down around Alice and he knew it’d be okay.

7. To women: Be a total bitch.

Even though Ralph was always freaking out at Alice, it was mostly because she always let Ralph know who was the boss and he didn’t like it (though, let’s face it, he probably loved it).

8. After making a mistake, compare yourself to shellfish.

Even though Ralph messed up a lot, he admitted it when he was wrong.

9. Just be REALLY REALLY nice every once in a while.

You’ll have a lifetime of happiness!

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