29 Poor Excuses For Celebrity Websites

You’d think that some people are so famous they don’t even need websites. They think you’re wrong.

1. Will Smith

Simple and to the point: Will Smith wants you to know that he’s really all about Facebook.

2. Jada Pinkett-Smith

His wife Jada is also all about Facebook. She can be seen walking around Paris.

3. Melanie Griffith

Once apparently thriving and active and described as an “acid-trip-meets-enchanted-medieval-forest,” Melanie Griffith has since let her domain name registration lapse. She has, however, one very big fan who would totally vote for her for president.

4. Tom Cruise

Plenty has been written about Tom Cruise’s actual website, but did you know he’s on Tumblr? Everything links back to his site, which appears to be run by animatronic monkeys without souls who comprise his “team.”

5. Sean Connery

Sean Connery’s website is partly promotion for him, and partly a safe space to view his wife’s artwork.

6. Bette Midler

Bette Midler really wants you to know that she’s got a lot of talents.

7. Gene Simmons

Yup, that basically looks like you thought it would.

8. Bret Michaels

There must be one dude who does all the rockers from the ’80s websites.

9. David Hasselhoff

If you’d like to really engage on David Hasselhoff’s website, you need to create an account for “HoffSpace.”

10. Nicole Kidman

Kidman’s decision late in her career to launch a website and start vlogging confused many, but she’s kept it up, occasionally posting blog posts on things like her love of Vegemite.

11. Joan Rivers

“I reinvented myself online with a .Co domain name – now it’s just joan.co!” Is that supposed to be a joke?

12. Pat Sajak

The Wheel of Fortune star’s website used to look like this.

Now it looks like this:

13. Sandra Lee

It’s not Christmas anymore Sandra. But we can tell you wish it was.

14. Lisa Rinna

What a stunning array of fonts.

15. Paula Deen

Deen’s website has a lot of photos of her face on it; food is mostly below the fold.

16. David Bowie

Just imagine how good this will be if it ever gets finished.

UPDATE: It appears with the launch of his new single, David Bowie’s site is back.

It doesn’t disappoint.

17. Gisele

While we’re at it, why are so many celebrity websites “Coming Soon”?

18. Claudia Schiffer

It’s like an epidemic among models.

19. Twiggy

But at least they’re better than Twiggy’s, which looks like she’s a romance novelist from the late 1970s.

20. Ryan O’Neal

“Ryan O’Neal is one of Hollywood’s favorite actors.” He is also best represented by a painting-photograph of a dog digging in the sand.

21. John Lithgow

John Lithgow is an actor, but judging from his website, his main occupation is writing children’s books. Which he does do! But not all the time.

22. Elton John

Everything seems to indicate that this is the official Elton John website but this seems far too lame for him.

23. Jane Fonda

Basically exactly what you’d expect for a fitness guru, Jane Fonda’s website makes her storied acting career a mere headline.

24. Kate Walsh

Selfies. So many selfies.

25. Amy Brenneman

Walsh’s Private Practice co-star Amy Brenneman’s site looks like something out of Jumanji.

It’s really extensive

26. Patti LuPone

There is a sketch of a rooster on Patti’s website, which doesn’t make any obvious sense until you find out she likes chickens.

27. Seth Green

“The only official Seth Green website” and don’t you forget it.

28. Rita Wilson

Fans of Sheryl Crowe: you’re in the wrong place, though you might not know it.

29. Michael Caine

This is clearly not actually Michael Caine’s blog/website, but wouldn’t it be so great if it was?

If only Michael Caine and Shakira were friends.

She would love it; he gives great advice.

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