Recently user u/imthejavafox asked the Reddit community: "What's a dealbreaker for you in a relationship that might not be a big deal to others?"
Folks didn't hold anything back (and by anything, I mean anything!), and revealed some harsh dating red flags. After combing through them, I must admit I agree with them 150%.
So here are relationship dealbreakers that are simply nonnegotiable for some people:
1. "I found out recently that baby talk is a dealbreaker for me. Dude speaks three languages, and he said 'peeez' instead of 'please' two too many times. It just made him unattractive to me."
2. "Conspiracy theories and pseudoscience. Someone who doesn't believe we landed on the moon, someone who believes aliens built the pyramids, and vaccine bullshit. I'm not debating you, I'm not humoring you, and I'm not coming home to our bank accounts drained all because you lack critical thinking skills."
3. "Not washing their hands after eating with their hands — licking their fingers and wiping it off on their clothes thinking that's 'clean enough.' Yeah, I really hate dirty hands."
4. "Consistent lateness. Everybody is late once in a while because life, but when you have those people who are constantly late for everything and they leave you waiting for them over and over and over again? I just find it so incredibly disrespectful, and it’s a huge dealbreaker."
5. "Yelling at animals is a dealbreaker. I can't stand it when someone screams at an animal for things they can't control, like when a dog or a cat just wants your love and attention. We all get frustrated with our animals, but yelling at them constantly will kill my interest in you ASAP."
6. "I need to sleep in separate beds (or preferably bedrooms)."
7. "Bad emotional control. Like, if you had a bad day, I'm sorry —but that's not my fault. You shouldn't be taking it out on me by snapping at me or being rude. You're allowed to vent, but you need to direct that somewhere else."
8. "Posting the relationship all over social media."
9. "Also the opposite: Refusing to post a single picture of us together. It doesn't have to be slathered all over socials, but that one really good picture of us on the mountaintop? Why not post that?"
10. "Being a picky eater. You wouldn't think this would affect you personally, but cohabitation brings out those irritating little tidbits. You never get to try new restaurants, and being even a little adventurous with cooking results in it being uneaten (and thus wasted). It's just too high-level of an accommodation that limits the richness of your life."
11. "Bikers. My ex was so obsessed with his Harley that he neglected our family (even after he almost died while I was pregnant with the last one). He said he would have been okay with dying on his bike and our baby never meeting him. I will never date or marry a biker ever again."
12. "Extroversion to the extreme — when they have absolutely no filter, and don't care about the opinions of others. They overshare, and don't understand boundaries."
13. "Cancellations. I understand that stuff happens, but if we're just getting to know each other and you cancel more than twice in a row, I gotta move on."
14. "My ex used to go up to strangers in the grocery store and ask their opinions on random items, so that."
"I also dated someone [who used to go up to strangers]. They'd share way too much with randos (and I mean, like, really personal stuff, too)."
15. "I like to feel wanted. So, if I'm planning all the dates, initiating all the texts and calls, and initiating sex every time, then it won't work out. I’m gonna feel like you're not into me, and I'd rather not waste my time or yours."
16. "Embarrassing me in public by trying to argue in an obnoxious way."
"I met an older married couple like this today. At first, I thought she was the toxic one and he was the pushover, but nope. They were BOTH toxic!
They clearly hated each other with commitment and passion. I just took a step back, put my game face on, and let these two absolute gunslingers go at each others throats in public."
17. "Intellectual curiosity — I can't handle intellectually 'lazy' people. If I see a new and novel experience to try and they're like 'eeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhh,' then it's not going to work. I need someone who, if I point out something novel, they're like: 'Yeah, alright, let's go.'"
18. "Bad driving. If you're texting, driving like a maniac, or having a road rage hissy-fit while I'm in the car, count me OUT, son."
19. "Poking fun at my taste in music or my interests, even if it's in 'a joking way.' I've never done that to any one of my partners, but every abusive partner I have had engaged in that behavior before things got bad. Never again."
"I hate that — just let people enjoy the music they like! My partner did this, and it got to the point where I stopped listening to music while doing things — just to avoid the little comments or jokes. I loved her, but that sucked."
20. "Incompatible hobbies (we don't need to have the same hobbies). But, for example, if they're the type of active people who act as if they may die if they breathe indoor air, then we are not compatible."
21. "Being friends with an ex."
22. "Not having a drivers license. I've driven four hours each way on vacation while my ex slept in the passenger seat — we did that a few times. The 'lazy' jerk never wanted to get it in the first place. Yes, I am somewhat to blame for putting up with it for so long, but I'll never do that again."
23. And: "This is probably petty, but not putting the [toilet] seat down. Leaving the lid up is just gross in general, but something just disgusts me about leaving the whole thing up. It makes me view the guy as very inconsiderate to women on a subconscious level."
In conclusion:
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.