Recently, user u/pyrocenis911 asked the parents of the Reddit community: "What’s the worst part of having a child?"
Well, moms and dads didn't hold anything back, and revealed some pretty eye-opening things they've experienced while raising kids. It really is the most difficult job in the world, and seems to take a huge toll on them.
So, here are some parents who believe parenting is the worst, and pretty damn tiring:
Warning: Some submissions include topics of abuse. Please proceed with caution.
1. "Having to deal with their total lack of self-preservation. They are creative and come up with all kinds of ways to try and 'kill themselves' — keeping ahead of the game is exhausting."
"Mine likes to fling himself from the back of the couch into mid-air, stick his head into pillowcases, and dig through the cat litter box searching for 'treasure.'
It’s like having a drunk friend with a death wish and too much confidence — I'm so tired."
2. "The fact that it's 24/7. Please don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be a mother, and I really don't want to change a single thing about my life. But you know how sometimes KNOWING you can't have something makes you want it? It's like that. No matter what, it's like I'm on a timer — I've got this little thing that I have to care of or they will die. Especially with a baby, you feed it, and then the clock immediately starts ticking before you just have to feed them again. When my toddler goes to bed, takes a nap, has independent playtime, or goes to grandma's house, that's my time. But it's ticking away, and I also need to sleep, clean, and run errands."
"There's legitimately no 'pause' — there's no free day. If you're sick, upset, or tired, you still gotta take care of them. If you hire a sitter and leave for the night, you just miss them or worry about them.
Even people who have the mentality of 'after 18 they're on their own,' that still isn't true. You're still their parent — you're always their parent."
3. "You know those video games where you have to escort a character to a destination without them being attacked? That's parenting. Those missions are a pain in the ass."
4. "Having to take care of a sick child when you are also sick. For me that has been the most challenging part so far."
"I dealt with this with COVID. Me, my wife, and our son all caught it on approximately the same day a few years back. My son was 100% back to normal within 24 hours, but my wife and I were NOT.
We had to trade off sleeping and sweating all while taking care of a 3-year-old at the same time. Oh, and we still had to work/take care of our job stuff on top of it. It’s hard enough for me to work from home with my kid there on any day, let alone when I am miserably sick.
My kid wasn’t able to go back to daycare for 14 days, and it was easily the hardest couple of weeks I’ve experienced as a parent."
5. "You won't know you'll regret it until it's too late. I don't regret having my kids at all, but I do know some people who do. Some wish they stuck with one or two, but they were persuaded to have more because their partner didn't want to have an only child. Kids know when they're something you'd rather not have to deal with, no matter how good you tell yourself you are at hiding it."
"And for me personally, the worst thing has been my own childhood stuff reemerging in ways I can't explain.
I see my parents very differently now that I have my own kids. I don't find parenting my kids that difficult, but dealing with my own stuff has been an unpleasant challenge."
"I would 100% always rather not have kids and kinda wish I did than to ever have kids and wish I didn’t. The grass is always a bit greener no matter which way you go, but that’s a big reason why I’m forgoing the kid thing."
6. "I have a 2-and-a-half-month-old, and it feels like we brought [them] home from the hospital about 30 years ago. These have been the longest months of my life by a ridiculous margin."
7. "The worry that I’m a bad parent who's doing things wrong."
"This. I am scared that despite my best efforts I will turn into my mother someday. I overthink every parenting decision to the point where it keeps me awake at night, terrified I will traumatize my kids like my parents traumatized me."
8. "You’re no longer the most important person in your own life, and your priorities have to change. While it sounds like you just substitute some time, this problem can become more insidious if you’re never putting your own needs in front of your child’s. This is how you start resenting others for not putting yourself first because you give so much to the other people around you, and they can’t see that you need a break."
"So because of this, the hardest part of being a parent is having your own life together enough to be present. Dealing with setting your own boundaries, dealing with your own childhood traumas, and navigating all this change while also trying to provide for a young child."
9. "The sheer anxiety of it all. Wondering who they're gonna be when they grow up. Worrying if they’ll have friends, be happy, and do well in school. Worrying about them being kidnapped. Worrying about them dying. Worrying if they are eating 'good' food. Worrying about keeping a roof over their head. Worrying about worrying."
"My youngest told me to 'stop worrying so much.'
I just laughed — silly child."
10. "The loss of spontaneity and freedom. My wife and I could just leave on a whim to grab dinner or spend a weekend somewhere. Now everything is planned weeks in advance and largely around nap and bedtime schedules. Oh, and sleep — what’s sleep?"
11. "Being invisible. Nothing about me matters anymore, and most things are even expected to be given up so they can thrive. The loneliness and how fucking fast your life rushes away. I'm not even allowed to exit life to not fuck the kid up."
12. "It's incredibly hard to get anything done. You either have to have your partner occupying them or you have to incorporate them into any household chores you need to do. And normally, they want to do the opposite of whatever you're trying to get them to do. Trying to do anything takes five times longer."
13. "Don’t get me started on the laundry! If I could eradicate one thing from my parenting duties, it would be the need to wash and pair up the million and one baby socks we have."
14. "Before I would have said it was the time they took away from my husband and I. We loved each other, and we wanted to be with each other. Yes, we wanted to be with the kids, too, but sometimes you just want to be together without someone hanging off of you begging for candy. Even if it’s just for a few minutes — you really give up that couple time. Now that he’s passed, it’s everything. It’s all work, no rest, no one who understands what you’re feeling, and just perpetual loneliness. The worst is knowing if I do things right, they’ll grow up and leave, and simply because they exist, no one will ever want me. So I’ll just die alone."
15. "Watching them stray down the 'wrong path,' and wishing they’d listen to you."
16. And finally: "People used to say 'the terrible twos,' but nope: It's the teen years. They become 'know-it-all, smart-assed money-suckers' who will stand in your face and scream at you about all of your failings as a parent. They will tell you they hate you and disengage from the family. It doesn't matter how privileged and spoiled they are — the parent is allegedly the only problem in their lives. I sure hope the old adage of 'you get back 10x what you gave to your parents' [is true]. I am so looking forward to this!"
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.