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50 Ridiculously Funny Tweets By Women From The 2010s

"Y'all remember in elementary school when we sent the boys to Jupiter to get more stupider? Well they're back and it worked."

1.

every day men leave their homes with no bag, no water bottle, no lip balm, no hand sanitizer, no extra layer in case they get cold, just keys and a wallet shoved into their pocket. chaotic and reckless

2.

me saying goodbye to the boy i was making out with at the bar for the past 30 minutes because my friends said if I left in the next five minutes we could go get pizza

3.

YALL. So, I went to bath and body works this morning to buy candles. I bought 9 and was like eh maybe this is too many. Then I looked over and the people next to me BOUGHT 90 CANDLES. Homegirl dropped A GRAND on candles before 8am. My hero.

4.

types of vacations I need - a week to deep clean everything I own, twice - a week to just sleep, then sleep some more - a week where I don't speak to anyone - a week where I can cook constantly and never have to clean up - 2-3 days where I don't have to make any decisions

5.

This girl I used to go out with is still using my Netflix and that's cool. She's watching Scandal and is currently on S7E12. Series finale is S7E18. Guess who's changing her password as soon as she gets to episode 17? Yep, it's Petty Labelle.

6.

It must be nice to be a man because you can literally just throw on a bomber jacket and everyone starts acting like you are the editor-in-chief of Vogue Italia

7.

Do you remember when your mom would take you shopping and you would come home and do a “fashion show” for your dad who was half asleep on the couch and would give you a nod and a “very nice” for every outfit or was that just my family.

8.

The moment my mom decided I was no longer her daughter anymore

9.

I cant afford a gym membership so 😂

10.

Me, after drinking 8 glasses of water and eating kale

11.

Him: She’s probably texting another guy rn Me @ 12am not being able to fall asleep and bored with literally no one to text whatsoever:

12.

My Netflix prank show idea: Women agreeing to meet up with the guys that send them unsolicited dick pics, but when the guy arrives, its actually their mother waiting for them.

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Ladies, if he - looks impeccable in a suit - comes in clutch with that emotional support - knows how to craft a compliment like it’s an art - can build furniture without a tantrum - knows how to build sexual tension with self control That’s no man, that’s a lesbian.

15.

every time I find something in forever 21

16.

personally i believe wanting bangs is almost never about wanting bangs and if u want bangs u should go to therapy first

17.

told my boyfriend I was going to start my period and he said, "AGAIN??" it's like, you know what, you're right, I'm cancelling my subscription.

18.

when you meet other drunk girls in the bathroom and have a heart to heart about how beautiful they are and how they deserve the world

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20.

LADIES imagine this, It’s 15 years from now. You’re not at a shitty baseball game, you’re in hawaii for the weekend. With your wife. You’re a lesbian. You can’t have kids, so they can’t hold you back. All your straight friends are stuck at kids sporting events. You’re laughing.

21.

This is what happens when men have creative control. A butt crack on top of another butt crack.

22.

The person who pays for Netflix + everyone else who watches it https://t.co/vt4gOWO7sk

23.

I just remembered the time I was dating a British man and I was annoyed at him about something so I deliberately made my tea in the microwave while staring him right in the eyes

24.

1st base: sex 2nd base: hitting each other up when the sun is out 3rd base: sharing childhood trauma 4th base: verbally expressing romantic interest

25.

Remember how yesterday I said I try not to laugh at my students? They’re really pushing me. Gave my 6th graders a quiz today, and I’ve never laughed so hard while grading a paper. 😅😂

26.

27.

Y’all remember in elementary school when we sent the boys to Jupiter to get more stupider... well they’re back and it worked

28.

i hate when my friend starts dating an idiot and i have to be like how could you bring this man into our lives

29.

my therapist: “take it slow, avoid caffeine, don’t put yourself into situations that you know will make you anxious, eat well and regularly” me on I-95 with an iced coffee on the way to hang out with my ex boyfriend: “I should go VEGAN”

30.

Mother: can you please fix my computer Me: *leans back in chair* well... well ... well ... if it isn’t Miss ‘Get Off That Computer’ Years 1994 to 2006

31.

Bask, bitch! Elegance. Make these hoes wait. https://t.co/dDflM0q88S

32.

I took an uber alone at 2am and when I got out my uber driver was like “have fun, get that dick!” and I said “hell yes thank you!!” because I didn’t have the heart to tell her I was being dropped at my moms house cause we have to wake up early to celebrate my dogs birthday

33.

Men: Sexual consent is confusing sometimes Women: I've apologized to a cardboard cutout after bumping into it

34.

Your MCM say “damn that’s crazy” when you sad https://t.co/qhRiaeArxE

35.

36.

my dad cheated on my mom with a girl named delaney and my mom never wanted him to forget it https://t.co/oam39pvvDO

37.

So my mom asked me what I was wearing to the Beyoncé concert... so I told her not thinking anything of it. Tell me why I go to meet up with her & we had on the same thing?? 🤦🏾‍♀️ Like girlllllll

38.

39.

sephora be like “would you like to redeem your beauty insider points today?<3”

40.

yall ever say something in conversation and it physically feels like you just chose the incorrect dialogue option in a visual novel

41.

stop asking me if i'm talking to a boy when smiling at my phone- a boy has literally never once made me smile

42.

Wanna hear a new level of “being a shitty roommate”? I asked my roommate to take the trash out, as I have been gone a week and a half. She then proceeded to PICK THROUGH THE TRASH AND ONLY THREW OUT THINGS THAT SHE THREW AWAY. W H A T ?!

43.

a new gender, one which is intangible and brings an eerie fear into the hearts of strangers.

44.

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1000s of pictures you have of them sleeping

45.

its the weekend baby. you know what that means. its time to drink precisely one beer and write it on my calendar

46.

every time i say my cat’s name she looks at me like i just told her that her husband died at sea

47.

48.

49.

sometimes my low pony looks cute but sometimes i look like a young man in colonial america eager to start his woodworking apprenticeship

50.

Girls don’t actually shop we just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’