Recently Reddit user u/AdministrativePin583 asked the community what their experiences were like having sex for the first time with sex workers.
Their stories were pretty eye-opening. They didn't hold anything back and revealed how they feel about their experiences today.
So, here's what it's really like having sex for the first time with sex workers:
Note: these submissions don't reflect a universal experience of having sex with sex workers. Everyone's story is different.
1. "My parents and the rest of my family were away. I walked down to the liquor store late and got a few classified papers (and a pocket full of quarters). I called an outcall service, and a sexy woman came over. It was kinda clinical, but that’s okay — she was nice. I still twitch when I smell her perfume. Beyond being a horned-up 18-year-old, a slightly impersonal experience the first time made sense to me. I appreciate the experience for what it was, and it accomplished what I hoped for: A happy, healthy, adventurous sex life now."
2. "My husband had sex with a sex worker while he was in the Navy (before I met him). He regrets it, as she was local to where he was first stationed here in the US and it was at a dinky hotel. It just...wasn't pleasant. He was only 18 and was pressured to do it. Later, he went on to have sex in a brothel in Spain and another country (can't remember which one off the top of my head), and enjoyed those experiences MUCH better."
3. "TBH it was not what I expected. I was 20 and had watched a lot of porn, so I had pretty high expectations. It felt okay — nothing out of the ordinary. In my opinion, just wait until 'the right time' arrives — the girl was pretty sweet and willing to help and teach me, but it wasn't what I expected in my fantasies. Believe me — it was not worth it."
4. "Given my personal conditions (mental health diagnosis, etc.), it was awkward. I didn't finish, but I have to say I felt like I was lucky enough to find the person I did. They were very kind (I know it's in their job description), but you get a vibe about some people. I'm glad it wasn't someone else. Since it was my first time, they probably just chalked up my awkwardness to that (which was probably for the best)."
5. "I feel good about it, and it was realistically the only way it was going to happen. I had an abusive childhood (my mother would have gotten prison time), and the only form of 'love' I knew was pity. The chance to earn affection was earned in itself, and it was a gamble if it paid out. I was taught love wasn't only conditional, but that it was a temporary commodity. Loads of mental shit ensued. I had never been hugged before, and paid for it for two hours. Afterwards I dry-heaved, but couldn't cry (at least I knew what it was like). Afterwards there was sex, but overall it was a beneficial experience."
6. "It happened in Korea in 1964 when I was 18 years old (she was about 30). She was small with a cute face and body. The sex was all missionary — I pumped and pumped much longer than I figured I would because it was less intense than masturbation with hair pomade (which had spoiled me). I finally popped. Later I had a month-to-month girlfriend (where you paid by the month), and we had good sex. Years later, I learned you could prolong it for hours (that came after we discovered marijuana in the late sixties)."
7. "Since I was about 13, I thought something was 'off' with me. When boys talked about girls, I didn't relate to what they said. I rolled with it because I thought it was 'supposed to be like that.' When I was about 19, I felt this giant pressure to have sex for the first time (every drinking game I played was about everyone's sex lives). I didn't get it at all. At this party a girl was into me — I took her to my place and we fooled around. I didn't feel anything — she was pretty and I liked her, but apparently not enough. Six months later I went on holiday with my best friends, and we hit a strip club where I got a private dance. I found her to be stunning, then she initiated sex."
8. "I 'found her' online. Honestly looking back, I don't regret it. I was 31 years old, and to me, it was way overdue. It kind of felt weird at the time (not necessarily bad, just like I've now crossed the bridge and there was no going back)."
9. "I was too young. My friends and I were all the same age, and went to a brothel together. Most of our friends had sex for the first time in that same place on the same day (some even with the same woman)."
10. "I was in college, depressed, had low self-esteem, and I was kind of 'overweight.' I just wanted to do it. Found a website, arranged it, went there, was nervous at first, but she made it easy. She was very sweet and beautiful, and it was as good of a first experience as I could've hoped for (except I couldn't stay and snuggle for hours)."
11. "I was involved with hiring a sex worker for a man with high support needs. He had cerebral palsy, and really wanted to have sex for the first time. It was a whole safeguarding thing with care managers and his parents having to be involved. We found him a lovely woman who had previous experience with clients who had high support needs, and everything went well for him."
"I was one of the more opened-minded advocates involved. Sex workers offer services that mean far more to people in a lot of cases than you would think (experiencing sex and intimacy for the first time being one of them).
Sex work should've been legalized, regulated, and unionized a long time ago."
12. And: "I was 22 — I had no confidence and low self-esteem due to my upbringing. At that point in my life, I was becoming embarrassed that I never had sex before. I had a few opportunities to, but I would blow it. One spring I traveled to Amsterdam — I had no intentions of sleeping with a sex worker (if anything, I thought it was disgusting). But when I arrived, I was surprised by how many gorgeous women there were. On my last night, I realized this was a good opportunity to have sex for the first time. I knew it was going to be a train wreck, so why not embarrass myself with a girl I was never going to see again? I saw this hot blonde and I approached her. She told me it'd be €50 for 'suck and fuck,' which was a lot less than I expected. We started 'suck,' but halfway through, she told me it'd cost me another €100 for the rest. At that point, I felt like I was getting robbed (but I gave it to her anyway)."
Note: Some stories have been edited for length and/or clarity.