Recently, Reddit user United-Detective-118 asked the community: "Men whose marriage/relationship survived a threesome, how did you do it?"
Welp, men didn't hold anything back. They revealed some pretty eye-opening truths about how their relationships turned out after they had threesomes with their partners.
So, here's what they had to say:
Note: These submissions don't reflect a universal experience of threesomes. Everyone's story is different.
1. "My ex and I were looking to do a threesome, but we were trying to be as objective as possible. We didn't ask anyone we knew or were really familiar with. I had followed this girl on IG (she was from high school — never talked to her at all. Only a few 'hellos' and that was it). I asked her how she felt about having a threesome with us, and she agreed. The threesome ended up happening. The entire time I had to make sure I was somewhat paying attention to both women equally (but obviously leaning my attention towards my girlfriend at the time). Overall it was a good experience for all of us, but it's mostly managing their emotions. I had my girlfriend start first before I did anything because I felt like it would make her feel some type of way."
2. "The way we survived it was by taking it slooooooow. I waited two full years from the first time she suggested it to actually do it. During that time we had a lot of conversations about it, and I came to understand that she really wasn't jealous and was open to the experience. We'd been married a long time, and her beliefs about monogamy were changing and she was willing to approach it in a way that I was comfortable with (aka no dudes having penetrative sex with her). If you try it, don't worry — your first experience might be a little choppy. Pleasing two women isn't as easy as it sounds. We've since had three ways with two different women and also play frequently with a female bisexual couple (with them I have to please three women). Truth is, they spend most of the time pleasing each other and you fill in with stunt cock as needed. Everybody wins."
3. "I quickly determined that I was more of an accessory to the experience. I was an extra hand or mouth where it was needed, made the room warmer or cooler, and oh yeah, I got this rad dick here as well if we think that would come in handy. It did, but no: It wasn't two women lavishing attention on me."
4. "Good company and lots of alcohol turned into a MFF threesome with a good friend of hers. Both of us mostly focused on my wife. It was never really planned, and the other girl was mostly the 'aggressor.' Pretty sure we had a 'WTF just happened?' talk. Had another setup a year or two after those with a different friend of hers. That one was less solely-focused on her, and I was more involved. It didn't end well, and she felt left out...I crossed a boundary we had discussed, so we agreed to stop doing it. We're still together, and haven't had a threesome in probably five years (which I'm pretty fine with)."
"The boundary was non-inclusion. We all crashed in the same bed, and there was some one on one in the middle of the night that she didn’t initiate.
I think I stupidly thought I was initiating a group 'round two,' but she saw it as leaving her out. I can respect the whole perception/reality thing, and admit I fucked up."
5. "We sort of stumbled into one with her best friend at the time. Was not planned at all, but we went with it. We didn’t know what was really going on and what 'rules' there were. For the most part it was her watching me and my wife. We left that night sort of speechless, honestly. We talked about it a little and sort of said, 'WTF just happened?' Guess we sort of swept it under the rug after that. We've been happily married for four years and counting."
6. "I had a threesome with my female partner and another woman, and I was miserable. The cliff notes version is I didn't like her friend. Her friend was okay looking, but not so bright. I had such a big dislike for this woman that I didn't get turned on by her touching me. I only agreed because I was 17 and horny."
7. "My girlfriend and I have threesomes several times a year (sometimes with women and sometimes with men). It’s definitely an interesting feeling when you’re watching them go at it. If you aren’t prepared for how to manage that in the moment and afterward, you definitely shouldn’t be trying to do threesomes or swaps."
8. "I had a FFM threesome with two girls I had previously dated at separate times. The threesome was their idea — I wouldn't do it again. It was a great novelty, but basically I just had sex with one (not the other). They didn't interact at all, which is, like, two thirds of the fantasy."
9. "We've had multiple MFF threesomes. It's fun, but it didn't work for us. It was 10 years ago, and neither of us have any interest in it these days. She always did all the setup work — that was the agreement. I wasn't involved until whoever my wife found showed up at our house. My wife was very involved in the act, but I could sense some underlying jealousy from her. She insisted it could have just been the individual she chose, so she tried another few times, and it seemed to me it never went away."
"Eventually I just told her I wasn't interested anymore, and things have been great ever since (I still don't know why she kept trying when I tried to tell her she shouldn't if she was uncomfortable — I even offered to try an MFM, but she shot that down right away).
There were never any arguments or cold shoulders about it. I just sensed she wasn't fully comfortable, talked to her about it, and eventually realized that she wasn't going to stop and I needed to just tell her I'm not in anymore."
10. "We had multiple 'unicorns' over our 10-year marriage. It worked because she was kinky and wanted to watch me fuck other women (and who was I to deny her that?). Thing is though that kind of 'craziness' is only tolerable for so long — at some point you just want some normalcy. Eventually we divorced because the 'craziness' was just too much on a whole bunch of levels — not just threesomes."
11. "We talked about it for months, communicated openly, and went over every scenario we could come up with. She was curious and I wasn’t going to say no. It went fine (apart from a bit of performance anxiety on my part) — she was telling me what to do, and got to 'eat her first pussy.' Watching her with another woman was the hottest part for me. We were also in a period of our best sex, and being open and communicating played a big part in that. I’ve never felt closer to her than that period."
12. "My ex-wife was bisexual and wasn't a jealous person. We brought another woman (our best friend) into our relationship for a couple of years, and we had some threesomes as a result. I ended up saying no to further threesomes because I really didn't find them all that enjoyable. We later ended up breaking up with the other woman because she was getting a little jealous against my then-wife, and tried driving a wedge between us. So our relationship with that woman didn't work in the long-term, but our marriage never hit a bump over the issue. Because this all resulted in losing a good friend, we agreed to just remain monogamous from that point onward and we stuck to it. We did eventually divorce, but for entirely unrelated reasons."
13. "Having a threesome was part of us opening our relationship. We went about very carefully and took a break to discuss and reflect every step of the way. First it was just being watched by someone else, the next time the other person was allowed to touch, the time after that we met with a couple and made out and tried oral. The threesome was fun and the first of many. My wife is bi and the woman was bi, so everyone was able to make out, pleasure and be pleasured by everyone else. We were all into each other and communicated beforehand what we are. As for MMF, I do not participate in those. My wife is free to have them, but for me personally, it's a limiting version of sex that includes a bunch of turn-offs."
14. "My wife and I are both kinky and bisexual. We’ve had plenty of threesomes and will continue to do so until we decide not to. It’s easy for us — sex is sex and love is love. We are madly in love with each other, and we want to explore various sexual interests and try new things. Sometimes that involves adding another person temporarily, and that’s fine with us."
15. And finally: "Our first threesome actually saved our relationship. I made a comment about her friend because we were fighting, and although it was in bad taste, she made it happen. She's bi and that threesome was a great way for her to have sex with a woman without 'feeling guilty.' We pleased that girl like it was our job as a team. It brought us back together, and we have done it a few more times since. We basically like working together to make someone cum as hard as possible. We've had another man as well, and that was the first time she let me try anal. To this day the only time I get ass is if her pussy is full. She's such a sexy woman, a great mom, and she's about to start her own business. If she ever leaves me I'll just die because no other woman has a chance at comparing to her."
Note: Some stories have been edited for length and/or clarity.