What Harry Potter Characters' Favorite Drinks Would Be

Imagine drinking games...with wands.

Harry Potter

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Dark and Stormy

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Because, well, he’s HP.

Ron Weasley

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Oh, Won Won.

PBR

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The "I'll drink whatever" kind of guy.

Hermione Granger

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Dirty Martini

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Because H$ doesn’t have time for fruity shit.

Neville Longbottom

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Remember when he got hot?

Moscow Mule

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But would you want to see him get shitfaced and cry? Didn’t think so.

Dobby

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White Russian

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It's juice, for elves, the only creatures in the universe that should be able to stomach such concoctions.

Malfoy

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Like the dark lord of frat boys.

FOURLOKO

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Who wants to bet a TON of weirdness went down in the Slytherin Common Room?

Crabbe and Goyle

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Smirnoff Ice

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Someone please tell me that men finally realized that Icing was a marketing trick to drive sales up. Pleaaaaaase.

Moaning Myrtle

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Moonshine

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That her ghost friends probably made in the forest in a dirty mason jar.

Dumbledore

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Dumbledude has a lot to do!

Irish Coffee

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The sedation helps him with the bullshit, while the caffeine helps him with the other bullshit.

Professor Mcgonagall

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Red Wine

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Like your mom.

Hagrid

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Stout

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Or any other super dark beer. Probably imported from Portland. (What’s the Euro equivalent? Netherlands? Germany is just too expected). Served in a cup the size of a garbage can.

Snape

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Johnnie Walker Black Label

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Black, like his soul.

Madeye Moody

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Mad Dog

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MM is out of his mind. Also, yeah, he looks like a (bull)dog.

Trelawney

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Peach Schnappes

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Cuz you gotta be off your rocker to drink that cough syrup.

Vernon Dursley

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Fine day to get shitfaced.

Gordon's Gin

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The angriest old man drink to ever exist.

Petunia Dursley

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Wine Spritzer

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Like your Grandma. Insert bored emoji.

Dudley Dursley

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Milk

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Loser.

Mr. Weasley

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Gin Fizz

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It’s the closest thing to an invention in a glass.

Mrs. Weasley

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Don't mess.

Hot Toddy

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Gotta fend off colds from her throngs of children.

Bill

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"Just don't show me the left half of your scarface. Ever."

Scotch

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Because a dragon trainer wouldn't be drinking any sissy shit.

Fleur Delacour

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WE GET IT YOU'RE PERFECT.

French 77

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A what? It's just St. Germain, champagne, and lemon... Classy and crap.

The Twins

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Fred and George #4life.

Tequila Shots

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Or jello shots. Or Jagerbombs. Or Irish Car Bombs. Really anything above 40% will do.

Percy Weasley

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Smartass.

Manhattan

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Prefect Spice is just soooooooo sophisticated.

Ginny Weasley

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*tension*

Hard Cider

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Because she is not a mess. Except for when she's five bottles deep and making out with her brother's best friend. Ruh roh.

Bellatrix Lestrange

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I think I get why men are attracted to crazy girls now.

Absinthe

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Tell me that's not an elixir of life. Oh wait that's for Voldy. Whatevs.

Voldmort

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He looks so much like a kid I used to nanny.

Snakewine

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Yup. That's a thing. Thanks again for eating animals, China! :/

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You're welcome. Have a good weekend and make someone's little brother your DD ASAP.