Lovingly written by Kayla Bibeau, writer at Fueled an award winning iPhone application development firm in London.
Myspace is dead and, with it, tacky personalized backgrounds, GIF-like comments and the pain of being removed from someone’s top 5.
Instead of evolving from these frightful fads, all other social networks have served host to one trend that survived the Myspace disaster of ‘07-‘08: the signature “Myspace pose.” It’s like a genetic defect passed down in a display of social network Darwinism gone wrong. So wrong.
Check out these signature moves that still plague our feeds (unfortunately):
3. The Mirror Shot
Even with the birth of the front-facing camera, our social feeds remind us daily that everyone’s mirrors are still working just fine.
4. The Duck Face
Suck in those cheeks and pucker up.
5. The Bend & Lean
Usually complemented by a caption that has nothing to do with obvious cleavage: i.e. “Just got my hair done!” Right, we’re all looking at your hair…
6. The Peace Sign, Shocker, Hang-Ten and Every Other Awful Hand Gesture That Needs To Stay Out of the Frame
This gem displays the (overused) signature peace sign. Keep your hands to yourself, please.
7. The Sexdoll
8. The We-Don’t-Even-Know-What-To-Call-It Face
Scrunched? Uncertain? We don’t know, but it’s not okay.
9. The Mean Mug
Why so serious?
10. The Chicken Wing
Often supplemented by a bend towards or away the camera to highlight your cleavage or derriere, respectively.
11. The Pufferfish
And we thought everyone was sucking in their cheeks to maximize cheek bones and facial aesthetics…
12. The Too-Close-For-Comfort
If the camera can’t focus, you’re too close.
13. Selective Coloring
This one highlights the signature extended arm with the camera being held at an unreasonably-steep angle, pointed downwards at the subject who is not allowed to use his/her neck. Only look upwards with your eyes. Bonus points for your best sultry or woeful face. Nothing says tacky like this.
14. The Heavy Vignette
If you’re feeling extra frisky, you’ll try a nice black and white filter with potential selective coloring, heavy vignette and text with song lyrics or a cute phrase like “B@biGurL<3.”
What would our forefathers say?
15. The Barbie Doll
Cue the porcelain airbrushed skin and marble eyes.
16. The Sepia Filter
Adding warm tones in an attempt to “artsy” it up.
17. The Panting Dog
Not only did they fail to align this photo properly, but they’re also rocking out with their tongues out. Ladies, this is never a good look.
Our last image features a nice combination of the leg lift, duck face and mirror selfie— but for future generations: please leave grandma out of this.
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